The Change
by Die Schreiberin
Summary: Santana's curiosity is peeked when Rachel comes to school after Christmas break sporting a new look and attitude. There's nothing supernatural about it. Seriously.
1. Chapter 1

I didn't feel like proof reading this. Sorry, you just have to read as is.

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The Change

I don't own _Glee, _but this story idea is mine.

It doesn't take much to upset Santana's life's boat. It could either be from the smallest of things like getting a pimple to the largest of things like finally admitting her preference for the fairer sex. Usually, she has a hard time keeping things small scale and blows things out of proportion. Mostly, it's due to the fact the she needed to find some way to simultaneously stand out and keep the attention from her when she does it. At the best of times, she still can't figure out how she does the things she does. _I'm just that good, _she usually thinks.

So with this being said, it came to no surprised that Santana's life boat tipped over some when her eyes beheld the sight of Rachel Berry in black track pants (the ones with the buttons along the side) and a plain navy blue long sleeve t-shirt on the first day after Christmas vacation. Never before had anyone in McKinley high beheld the future starlet in such attire. (What she wore even impressed Sue Sylvester, who believed her sense of fashion must be catching on. Of course, she didn't know if she should be proud of this or change her choice of wardrobe to be different).

Santana had to admit that Rachel looked good in new duds, but she couldn't help but feel as if something was off. She was Santana "freaking" Lopez and she always knew when something was off with other people. To some this gift could be counted as a good thing, but this gift in Santana's hands usually led to causing troubles because she always had to know the load down on everyone and on everything. She liked information because knowledge is power. And oh, how she loved power.

After seeing Rachel in the hallway sporting some new style, Santana made it her mission to find out what was going on. Not because she cared, but because she wanted to see if she could wield any power over the boisterous girl. However, as she watched Rachel for a few moments, she noticed the girl seemed as if the meaning of life had left her. This sort of disturbed Santana because Rachel always seemed to have the meaning of life in the palm of her hand.

With that last fleeting thought, Santana watched as Rachel walked down the hallway and towards her first period class. As the girl walked away, Santana also picked up on the way Rachel seemed have lost her cheery swagger. The latina frowned at this and vowed to get to the bottom of things. With the resolve ever getting stronger, Santana walked off to her own first period class, U.S. History.

She walked in and took a seat in the back of the classroom, but towards the center of the room. Her position in the classroom showed two things, one: she seemed to be a slacker and two: she also seemed to want to learn. For the most part, Santana was a serious student, but she didn't want others to actually believe she cared for her grades. She once read somewhere that the show of someone who wants to study is all in where one is placed. Those people usually sat up front in the first row. If a serious student couldn't get those seats, the next best would be any seat in the center of the room. This leads up to her preferred seat in any classroom.

As she waited for the class to begin, she watched as Finn Hudson and Noah Puckerman entered the class room and sat in the table in front of her. In her viewing pleasure, she noticed how Finn seemed a little down and Puck looked concerned at whatever Finn was going through. Her suspicions were confirmed when her ears started to pick up on their conversation.

"I don't know what happened," Finn said in a tone that sounded like it said those words for a million times.

"Seriously, bro, can't you think of anything that would have caused Rachel to dump you?" asked Puck.

Santana's eyes lit up at this new revelation. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. As far as she knew, Rachel was seriously gaga over Finn. There were often times where Santana feared that Rachel would turned into some sort of stalker, but realized that she was a pot calling something else black. Of course nowadays, pots come in all sorts of colors like green and silver, so the saying is a little bit obsolete, but that's getting off the topic. Santana. Rachel broke up with Finn. What the flying nun?!

"No, I can't," Finn declared, "I thought it might have been because of the Christmas gift I gave her and I asked her. She said no. I asked her if it's because I forgot some sort of date or anniversary and it's not. I asked if she met someone new and she said no."

"Have you cheated on her?" asked Puck.

Finn glanced at Noah as if he had two heads, "No, I haven't cheated on her. I'm not really a cheating kind of guy."

At this Puck raised an eyebrow, "What about cheating on Quinn with Rachel?"

Finn stumbled over his words for a moment before replying, "I liked Quinn and I thought that she was what I wanted, but then I got to know Rachel and started having feelings for her. We may have kissed a few times, but we never went farther than that because we knew we couldn't. I tried to stay as loyal to Quinn as I could, but you know what it's like to like a girl. As much as I tried to keep my feelings for Quinn, it didn't cut how I felt with Rachel."

"Dude, the heart wants what the heart wants," said Puck.

Santana had a stifled a snicker at Puck's cheesiness, but she couldn't help but believe that Finn has a point. He's not much of cheater, but that didn't stop him from being the person Quinn had an affair with when she was dating Sam. The more Santana thought about it, the more she realized, woman can suffer from infidelity just as much as the guys. The thought was really thought provoking. If she had more time she would have thought more on why it's hard to be loyal to one partner.

Unfortunately, she didn't have the time because she picked up on a question from Puck, "What line did she use?"

"It's not me, it's her," Finn admitted before the teacher gathered the attention of Santana's fellow classmates.

The history class went on rather smoothly and so did Santana's next two classes. Then came her fourth period class. She sauntered in and took her usual seat. It wasn't long afterwards that Rachel walked in. Her head wasn't held high nor was it held low. It was just in the balance somewhere. However, it was Rachel's eyes that caught hold of Santana. They weren't a bright as they once were and they seemed like she was looking at something far away.

In all honesty, Santana was confused on how Rachel could possibly change in just two weeks and over Christmas to boot which is supposed to be a jolly holiday. _Great, I now have Mary Poppins on the brain. _At the moment, Santana didn't want to make any accusations on what happened to Rachel, but she did concentrate on what she knew. Rachel was dressing differently and she dumped Finn. She looked closer at Rachel and remembered Finn saying that Rachel dumped him with the corniest lines of "it's not you, it's me." Rachel didn't appear as girlie as she once was, but rather butch. _Maybe she found out she was gay all along, _Santana surmised. She sort of smiled at that idea but couldn't understand why that was. For a brief moment she wondered if she had a crush on Rachel, but she didn't want to think about that possibly. It weirded her out. So she let it past for now.

Actually, the mystery behind Rachel's appearance was starting to anger her. She had no wish to get involved with anything that Berry was up to. She wanted so much to let things be and ignore it all, but she couldn't do it. It was in her nature to be noisy. She wanted to mentally slap herself when she realized that she and Rachel had that in common. _We would be terrible together, _she surmised. _If we got together, we would be all up into each other business. I'm simply not down with that crap._

However, much Santana tried to fight it, she knew that she must find out what's eating Rachel Berry. _She's definitely no Johnny Depp._ As she sat in her fourth period class and studying Rachel more than the lesson, Santana mentally made note of her next course of action. First step was that she was going to continue observing Rachel throughout the day to see if she could pick out anything more from the girl. Her next course of action would be tricky. She could find herself doing one of two things both weren't unappealing. Her first option would be to sneak around and go through Rachel Berry's things and search her home. In other words go behind Rachel's back and dig up dirt on the girl detective style. Her other option is simply direct confrontation and that could go one of two ways. Rachel would either not give her the time of day or Rachel would good into one of her usual monologues. She would be ticked if both were to happen. Unfortunately, she knew talking to Berry would be the less complicated of the two.


	2. Chapter 2

At the end of a frustrating day, Santana walked into the choir room and looked around for the midget. She frowned when she didn't see her always- early- to-glee-club face. It also made her mad. She hated the fact she was obsessing over Rachel Berry and whatever drama was going through. She laughed once when she thought this whole deal with Berry was probably some sort of an act to get attention and possibly the sympathy vote for more solos. It would be so like Rachel to pull such a stunt.

Having this theory in mind, Santana marched up to her usual sit and sat back to see the show Berry must be planning on. She carefully watched both doors for the incoming presence of the munchkin. With each person trickling in, she became a little nervous as seeing the each person was not the person she was hoping to see. For a brief moment, Santana worried if Rachel decided to up and quit Glee, but she internally laughed it off as a joke. She knew for certain that Rachel was all about the lime light that Glee offers.

However, her nerves were getting the better of her with each passing moment, but it wasn't until the small brunette showed up that she began to relax. Rachel walked in and sat in the front row like normal, but she wasn't sitting anywhere near anybody. Santana looked over to Finn to see his reaction and noticed he was looking at his ex-girlfriend with longing. She glanced back over to Rachel and noticed that she didn't notice anything. In fact she seemed a little antisocial, but she just sat there like a good girl waiting for Mr. Shue to arrive and arrive he did.

He smiled brightly to everyone and walked over to the white board. Before writing anything down, he said, "Welcome back. I hope you had a happy holiday."

A few of the glee members made a few comments all at once and then quieted down to listen to what else Mr. Shue had to say. "I'm glad, now I know how depressing it is to be back at school after such a long break, but we have to pull ourselves together and concentrate on regionals coming up. I would just like to put out that I just received updates of this year's requirements. Anybody wants to take a guess at what we're assigned to sing?"

It was to no surprise to Santana that no one wanted to, but on the other hand, it did surprise to see that Rachel didn't speak up as this crap was the munchkin's world. Again, Santana found herself frowning. To shake herself out of this emotional crap, she piped in, "Just go ahead and tell us, Mr. Shue. It's not like anyone here really cares to take a guess."

Mr. Shue turned his attention on Santana and frown himself, but not before looking at Rachel as if she somehow disappointed him in her demurred state of being. This ticked Santana off some. _Can't he see that there's something wrong with the girl._

"All right, since no one has something to say on the matter, I'll just say it. This year's requirements involve us having to come up with a one solo song from the fifties, a nineties boy band song, and a group number involving a mash up of the hits of today. Now, I want to know if anyone has any suggestions, I'll give you a few moments to think this over."

All around Santana people were talking about song possibilities. Although she wanted to sing something, she didn't want to put her two cents in. Not because she didn't have two cents to put in, but because her mind just couldn't think about such things. She just to engrossed with the fact that Rachel was just sitting there doing nothing. _Perhaps the little gerbil in her mind is running around in that wheelie thing. _

About fifteen minutes later, Mr. Shue called everyone to attention. "Okay, now that we have some time to think about this does anyone have anything?"

Santana believed that Rachel wouldn't respond to this like she didn't respond earlier, but she was wrong. The brunette had raised her hand to comment. At this Santana smiled at the thought that finally Rachel was acting normally, but she got a shock along with everyone else with what she suggested. "Mr. Shue, I think it would be wise for the fifties number if Quinn does the solo. She has the type of voice that fits that era."

The poor teacher coughed a little before replying, "That's very great of you to make that suggestion. Did you have song in mind?"

"I was thinking, 'Earth Angel,'" she declared. "It's a doo-wop song, so it would be great if she got backed up by Santana and Brittany."

Santana hated the idea of being back up, but she hated to admit that she liked Rachel's idea. Before she could say anything, Mercedes piped up, "Berry, what are you trying to play at?"

Rachel turned to look at the girl and sighed, "Nothing."

Mercedes shook her head, "I don't believe you. I think you're trying to butter up to the Unholy Trinity so you don't receive any more slushies."

Again Rachel sighed, "I don't care about slushies. They can be rather refreshing at times."

Everyone looked at her as if her head decided to look like her nose. She shrugged and turned back to the front of the choir room as if she was done with the accusations.

Before anyone could say anything, Mr. Shue decided to speak up, pretty much to break up the awkwardness of the room, Santana noted. "Whatever the case may be, I think Rachel's suggestion is excellent. Quinn, would you mind preforming 'Earth Angel' at regionals?"

Quinn shrugged, "If no one else has a better idea, I don't mind."

Mr. Shue looked around at the other faces of the room for objection. When there was none, Mr. Shue clapped his hands together in excitement, "Good, good." He turned to Santana and Brittany, "Would you two mind singing along Quinn?"

Brittany excitedly (seriously, I don't think she would) agreed. "Of course I would, I like singing with Quinnie."

Santana watched as Mr. Shue waited patiently for her answer. Following Quinn's lead, she shrugged her shoulders, "I guess I'm game."

Mr. Shue smiled brightly at this, "Excellent, now we have our fifties number, what about the other pieces?"

At this Rachel raised her hand again before anyone else. Mr. Shue once again gave her the floor, "For the nineties piece, I suggest we do 'True to Your Heart' by 98ᵒ. It goes along with 'Earth Angel.'"

"Who do you suggest for the song?"

"Since the original song was a mesh up of both 98ᵒ and Stevie Wonder, we should have Artie, Sam, Noah, and Finn sing the 98ᵒ part and Mercedes sing the Stevie Wonder part since his part has no romantic overtones."

Hardly anyone had any objection over this. Santana had to admit, she liked this change in Berry. She wouldn't have pegged the girl would ever give up the chance of performing a solo or standing in the lime light. However, she liked this new side of Rachel, she couldn't help but noticed that some of her other glee mates don't seem to share in her new found appreciation. Nope, they had looked at Rachel with suspicion in their eyes trying to figure out what game she was playing at. Santana knew Rachel well enough to know when the girl was sincere and insincere. When it came to standing up for Santana last year, Rachel was completely sincere. When it came to the Sunshine incident, Rachel's excuses for her behavior were the opposite of sincere. At this particular time, Santana couldn't help but wonder if there was a song out there about being sincere. Perhaps, she'll have to ask Berry sometime in distant, distant future.

Shaking her head of such thoughts, she tuned back into the club and Mr. Shue, "Okay, Rachel since you solved two of our songs what do you suggest for the group number?"

Rachel looked pensive for a moment before replying, "Perhaps a mesh up of 'Call Me, Maybe' and 'Payphone.' Whenever words to 'Call Me, Maybe' come up the girls sing and whenever words to 'Payphone' come up the guys sing."

"Brilliant."

"Yeah, not bad Berry," Mercedes said, "But I wonder, why haven't you demanded any solos?"

Rachel shrugged her shoulders, "Singing is not important to me much anymore."

Every single person in the room gasped in shock.

The last thought Santana had before it was time to go was _Rachel Berry not finding singing important anymore is a definite sign of the apocalypse. The end is near._


	3. Chapter 3

It's been over a week since school has been back in session and Santana still remains clueless as to what happened to Rachel. Basically, it's due to the fact that she hadn't gone up to Rachel and actually talked with her. Not because she couldn't find it in herself, but because Sue Sylvester decided to run the Cheerios ragged with new routines. Santana just didn't have enough time to actually confront the girl and she cursed Sue Sylvester for the coach's madness.

Luckily, when Wednesday rolled around, Coach Sylvester's madness ran its course for a moment. Santana shook her head at this because the madness actually didn't go away if just Sue just decided a little break was in order before her girls collapsed. Santana was thankful for this for it meant she had the ability to confront Berry about her sudden change.

Before the end of lunch, Santana stood up from her table and followed after Rachel when she decided to leave the lunch room. The cheerio trailed after the girl until they reached Rachel's locker, when she placed her empty lunch wear inside. As soon as the locker closed, Santana jumped right into things, "Okay Berry, cut the crap."

Rachel turned to face the fiery latina, "Hello Santana. How may I help you?"

Santana shook her head, "I just told you. I want you to cut the crap."

The songless bird asked, "What are you talking about?"

Sighing out in frustration because she wasn't getting anywhere, Santana grunted and gestured towards what Rachel was wearing. At the moment, it was a sweat shirt and some bagging blue jeans with sneakers. "Just look at yourself."

Rachel peered down at her clothes and saw nothing wrong with them. "Are you saying I should wear different clothes?"

Santana shook her head, "No, it's just the clothes you're wearing are just not you."

"They're comfortable," the small brunette said. "I've never really cared for fashion and besides, how are you to know what's me and what's not me. I don't even know myself."

At this the latina felt like banging her head into something. "You're Rachel 'freaking' Berry. You wear animal sweaters and argyle. You have a voice that would give anyone a run for their money. You're also little miss spot-light."

After everything Santana said, Rachel just nodded her head, "Yes, but is that all that I am? I mean seriously, if that's all that I am than that makes me seem so one dimensional. I am more than that."

"Right, if the occasion permits, you're also caring and a great friend."

A smile spread on Rachel's face. Santana couldn't have felt more relieved at the sight. "Thank-you Santana, that's very sweet of you to say so."

"Whatever," Santana waved the thanks away, "Look, I just what to know what's up with the new attitude and junk."

There was a moment's paused before Rachel asked, "Do you want to come to my house and watch a movie?"

Seriously, Rachel was really blowing her away here. "Fine, but I hope it's not _Funny Girl_."

"I haven't seen that movie in like a month. Oddly, I don't miss seeing it. In either case, just come by my house after school and we'll watch a movie together."

"It's a date," Santana smirked, but she found that she didn't regret saying those words.

"You can call it whatever you like," Rachel said before walking off to her next class.

After school Santana followed Rachel to her house via auto. Rachel parked in the driveway while Santana parked along the curve. She hopped out of her car and followed Rachel inside. She remembered the last time she was here. It was for the crazy lame joke of an alcoholic party, but she loved the modern design of the décor. She took off her jacket and hung on a hook with Rachel's.

"You have a nice house. It's really clean," she commented.

"Thanks, but you really don't need to comment on anything," Rachel said as she went into the kitchen. "Do you want anything to drink or eat?"

"If you have Vitamin Water, I wouldn't object."

"I'll get you a power bar as well. You're in training, right?"

"If you call what Sylvester does as training and not torture, then sure." With that being said, Santana sat down and plopped her feet up on the coffee table that was facing the TV. "How are your fathers?"

"They're good. Daddy is out of town a few days and Dad working hard at the hospital."

Santana scratched off the possibility of Rachel's fathers having some mysterious illness. During the time past week or so, she had created a list of possibilities that could be plaguing Rachel, her fathers being sick is one of them. Of course Rachel could just not be saying anything.

Before she could ask any more questions, Rachel came in and handed her bottle of Vitamin Water and a power bar. She then set her own bottle on the coffee table before going to her stack of movies and picking one out and plopping it into the DVD player. She came back with the universal remote and set the TV set up.

When Santana saw the title screen for the movie, she nearly had a conniption. "We're watching, _It's a Wonderful Life? _Berry, didn't anyone tell you that Christmas is over?"

"Yes, but _It's a wonderful Life_ is more than just a Christmas movie. In fact, the majority of the film has nothing to do with Christmas. The only Christmas element of the whole movie is that the present is set at Christmas time, but we don't see enough of the present."

Santana could help but smile internally as Rachel rambled away. At least she still had that habit, so she hasn't changed too terribly much. "I get your point. Now are we going to watch the movie now?"

With a nod, Rachel pressed the play button.

During the course of the movie, Santana was trying to figure if it had anything to do with the change in Rachel. For the most part, she tried to compare George Bailey to Rachel Berry. They both had big dreams of living their small town. Where Rachel wanted to sing her soul out, George just wanted to travel around the world and see strange things. However, George never got out of Bedford Falls because there was one crisis after another that prevented him from fulfilling his dream. Perhaps this was Rachel's problem. Perhaps something big happened in her life that's keeping her away from her dream.

The movie ended and Santana sat back and watch as Rachel turned off the movie. The small brunette then turned her attention on Santana. "I have this cousin, who is ten years older than me."

Before Rachel could go on, Santana cut in. She couldn't believe that Rachel was being very evasive about everything. First the movie and then some cousin, it just doesn't make sense. "What does your cousin have to do about anything?"

"Everything," Rachel said. "Let me tell you about my cousin. His name is Nick and on my daddy's side of the family."

"Okay?"

"In any case, my cousin from the age of five fell in love with dinosaurs. For many years, he wanted to become a paleontologist."

"What happened?"

"A snow storm, God and _Jurassic Park."_

"Are you trying to play one of these things is not like the other?"

Rachel shook her head no. "It's just a series of things. Let me begin by telling you about _Jurassic Park_. My cousin loved watching that movie, but then over heard talk from his parents saying that there were people out there who were truly trying to bring dinosaurs back to life. Nick thought it was a terrible idea, but that didn't stop him from loving dinosaurs. He vowed to himself that he wouldn't have anything to do with unnaturally bringing back dinosaurs."

"He didn't have to."

"I know," Rachel agreed.

"What about the other things?"

"Around when Nick was twelve, he and his family suffered through a huge snow storm. The snow ended up being about four feet high and lasted a long time. Unfortunately when the thaw happened, the foundation of Nick's home cracked. A friend of the family told them that they should leave the house."

Confused Santana asked, "Why did their foundation crack?"

"Their house at the time was built in a sandy area."

Nodding in understanding, Santana gestured for Rachel to continue.

Taking up the plot again, the munchkin went on, "My cousin and my family moved in our grandparents for two weeks. They weren't to stay their permanently, only just so they could come up with a battle plan. During that time, Nick and his family had plenty of family time together. One night they all sat down together and watched _Superman _with Christopher Reeves."

"Even if I'm gay, that guy looked great in that outfit."

"I know," exclaimed Rachel. "He is very good looking plus he is a very versatile actor. He can to action, comedy, drama… I don't know about his singing voice."

"Berry," Santana voiced interrupting Rachel from going someplace else. It did the trick. "Just get on with the story."

"Oh, right," Rachel agreed before going on to where she left off. "You know how Krypton was destroyed?"

"Anyone who's into _Superman_ knows Krypton was destroyed, but what does Krypton have to do with your cousin?"

The small brunette held up a hand, "I'm getting to that point. Like any religious people, there is a belief in the end of the world. When Krypton was destroyed in the movie, my cousin's parents and older sibling began talking about how the earth is going to be destroyed one day in the future. It was this conversation that changed Nick's life. He went from loving dinosaurs to not wanting anything to do with them because he believed that perhaps it was better to leave well enough alone. He also believed that the snow storm was the beginning of the end of the world."

"He sounds like such a happy person," Santana said with such sarcasm.

Rachel shrugged her shoulders, "He's not that bad, but he's just a very heavy thinker. One, who believed that God didn't want him to mess around with dinosaurs. After deciding he didn't want to be a paleontologist anymore, he was rather a drift as to what he wanted his life to be. I honestly couldn't understand him and promised myself that I would never become like him but things change."

"Yes, but what does your cousin have to do with _It's a Wonderful Life_?"

"George had only one dream and that was to travel. Unfortunate, he let not getting that dream destroyed his prospective in life and how he helped out his family and friends. During his darkest of times, he gained a new prospective and new sense of life. My cousin, in a dark moment of his time, gained a new prospective for his life."

"Are you saying you had a dark moment and received some sort of revelation?"

"Um,… Nick's sister, she has been diagnosed with lupus."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: This story is set in Junior year and it's a little on the AU side. Finn never broke up with Rachel before Christmas because there was no cheating with Puck.

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Another week has gone by since Santana's visit with Rachel. She was still as confused with Rachel's sudden change as before. As she was still in her U.S. History class, she couldn't help but let her mind wonder back to her afternoon with Rachel. She couldn't help but curse the timing of the girl's father as he came home from work just after Rachel's sad announcement about her older female cousin, Olivia. Not much was discussed after words because Rachel's father, Hiram decided to take his little girl out to eat for the night. Santana was invited along, but she declined saying she needed to head home before she made her mother worried. In all actuality, she didn't want to spend any more time with Rachel at the moment. Her mind was just filled with too much information that needed to be digested.

When she did arrive home that night, she took out a clean notebook that was supposed to be used for school, but never was. After getting a pen, she jotted down everything she found out so far. As she was working on dinosaurs, Santana had stopped writing and took note of what she was doing. Normally, she would have never had written anything down. It would leave behind evidence that could be used against her in the future. Normally, she would think out her problems before writing things, but this was a different matter altogether.

She tapped her pen against the notebook trying to figure out what in the world she was actually doing and why she was doing it. She had no clue. No, that's not true. With the sudden new change in Rachel, she couldn't help but be reminded about what happened to her mother's sister. She never meant Aunt Maria, but she was told she was a very beautiful woman. Unfortunately, Aunt Maria had gone through a rough patch in her life and no one could figure out why. Her family tried to help her out of her depression, but whatever happened must have too much for Aunt Maria to open up. Her depression led to her committing suicide. However, unfortunate her suicide was, it did cause a ripple effect with her other family members. This ripple effect caused the family to be more proactive to prevent anymore suicide. So, the moment Santana was deemed old enough to understand, her mother took her under wing and taught her about how to help people from preventing suicide. One of the things she was taught was how to recognize the signs of someone who might be having suicidal thoughts. Rachel's behavior after Christmas reminded her of those thoughts.

She looked down at her notebook and began writing more about everything that has happened so far. During the course of her writing, she began to feel like some sort of psychologist. She paused at this thought and realized that perhaps she might consider it as a profession in the future. She just prayed that Rachel wouldn't show any more signs of sucide.

A week later from that night, Santana wished she would have prayed harder. Rachel showed up at school sporting a new haircut. It wasn't too extreme like going from super long to super short. No, Rachel's hair was now just touching the base of her neck. Seeing, Rachel's new hair dew, Santana vowed that she would have another talk with the girl today and touch base with her.

Time was just against her as she waited through her classes until lunch time. As soon as the bell for lunch rang out, Santana sprinted to the lunch and spotted Rachel with her homemade lunch. She ran over to her and placed a hand on the girl's shoulder. Using her commanding nature she said, "Grab your things and follow me."

Rachel looked as if to protest but the look on Santana's face made her stop. She gathered her Tupperware and walked out of the cafeteria with Santana in front of her. She kept walking on until Santana pulled them into the sound booth in the auditorium. The latina make sure that the equipment was off and Rachel was eating before speaking, "Berry, is everything okay?"

Rachel looked at her with her mouth full. She thoroughly chewed her food and swallowed to answer Santana, "Yes, why?"

Santana reached out and touched a strand of Rachel's hair, "You cut your hair short."

Rachel just smiled a genuine smile and put Santana at ease for a moment, "I decided to donate it to locks of love."

Confused, the cheerio asked, "Locks of love, but I thought your cousin has lupus."

The other nodded her head, "She does, but I wanted to do something to help out a good cause because I don't know how to help Olivia."

"Okay," the latina agreed. "You could always raise money on lupus research."

"Yes, but there's no cure. It's not like cancer. Once someone has lupus there's nothing that can stop it. They can suffer for the rest of their lives. Good news is that the percentage of lupus survivors is increasing. The bad news is that it is dangerous for Olivia to have children. Unfortunately, she's not married and has no chance of ever having kids. She's engaged, but her fiancé is debating if he should move on. They both had dreams of having kids one day."

At this Santana was miffed. It was stupid that Olivia's fiancé would just give up on their relationship like that. "They could always adopted or have a surrogate."

Rachel nodded her head, "I know, but I don't know what Bryan is thinking." She went back to eating her lunch leaving Santana time to think.

"You must really care for Olivia?" she finally spoke after a few moments silence.

The small brunette nodded, "I do. When I found out about her disease I decided to research it. You see I wanted to understand as much as possible on what Olivia was going through, but I went a little over board on the research."

Cocking her head to the side Santana couldn't help but ask why.

"Um…, when I get started on something I get pretty obsessive."

"No, duh."

"Right, well… as I was doing… I never wanted to be in the medical field. I still don't. The sight or the mention of blood makes me rather queasy," realizing what she said and to whom she had said it, Rachel hurriedly asked, "But please don't use that information against me for your own amusement."

"I won't," declared Santana. Technically, she was rather glad to have heard Rachel say that. It meant that the girl would never cut herself and cause herself to bleed in any way, shape, or form. A good majority of the methods to commit suicide was gone.

"Good," Rachel declared as she ate another bite of what looked like tofu. After her bite, she went on, "In my research, I began to think differently…"

"About what?" asked Santana kind of concerned.

Rachel looked hesitant to actually say what she wanted to say. She ate another bite of tofu before making up her mind. "I started to feel uncomfortable about my body."

There was sudden silence in the sound booth. Rachel continue to eat while Santana sat there trying to figure out in what way Rachel was started to get uncomfortable in her body. She thought over things she has found out and realized that perhaps Rachel was referring to… _Does Rachel think she's a guy?_

Before Santana could voice her opinion, the bell rang for the end of lunch. Rachel stood up and went to exit the sound booth. Before she could leave, Santana rushed to her and took hold of her arm, "I'm coming to your house after school. We're not done talking."

With that they went to their next class.


	5. Chapter 5

Santana found herself once again in the Berry household, only this time she was in Rachel's room. She was pretty nervous on being in Rachel's room, but with the upcoming conversation she was about to have with Rachel, she would have been even more nervous being out in the living room. She figured whatever Rachel had to say would more likely be rather private and she wanted to keep it that way in case Hiram came home in the middle of the conversation and over heard something that maybe Rachel didn't want him to hear. The idea was scary enough because she didn't want to get involved with someone else's family drama.

So here she was in Rachel's room and sitting on the girl's vanity chair, while Rachel was in the bathroom. Santana took the time to get out her camera phone and started taking pictures of Rachel's room. She has never been in the room before so she had no idea if the girl even changed anything around like the color of the walls, posters, or the sheets on the bed. She also wouldn't have noticed if Rachel had given some of her things away. Her plan was to show the pictures off to Kurt and Mercedes and asked for their opinion on the matter. She wanted to make sure that Rachel hadn't changed too much because she was still uneasy over the fact that the girl might be suicidal.

At the sound of running water hit Santana's ears, she quickly pocketed her phone and waited until Rachel stepped out of her ensuite bathroom. When the girl came out, she was wearing just a plain pink t-shirt and yoga pants. Santana eyed her closely just to make sure the girl wasn't walking abnormally and to makes sure that the girl didn't have any bruises. So far, things were okay. Next to the whole suicide notion, Santana wanted to make sure that the other girl wasn't abused by her fathers. So far she hasn't seen any sign of abuse.

Santana smiled at Rachel as the girl lain down on her bed while, she looked at the ceiling. Bringing the chair over closer to the bed, Santana sat down to talk and really feeling like some sort of shrink. "So, why are you uncomfortable in your body?" she asked just cutting to the chase.

There was once again some sort of awkward silence in the room until Rachel voiced out her thought, "I don't think you'll understand."

Santana crossed her arms and glared, "Try me."

Rachel sat up with her back against the head board and a pillow being hugged by her arms. "I know what you might be thinking."

"And what's that?"

"You're thinking that I hate being a girl."

"Do you?"

Smiling brightly, Rachel declared with conviction, "I love and accept that I am one hundred percent female. It's huge part of who I am. The thought of me as a male is laughable."

Scratching the back of her head Santana was utterly confused. Rachel was making no sense whatsoever. A part of Santana wondered if Rachel hit her head on something or if she was somehow on drugs. Unfortunately, she knew what someone on drugs looked like and Rachel did not look like someone on drugs. Again getting to the point, Santana questioned, "If you love being a girl, how come you're uncomfortable in your body."

At this Rachel took a moment to gather her words together, "I always viewed my body one way and that's as an instrument for sound. I care for my stomach muscles and my vocal cords. I never considered anything else. In a way, I saw myself as invisible without any weaknesses except for maybe my emotions getting the better of me. Do you understand what I'm getting at?"

Furrowing her brows Santana asked, "You viewed yourself as some sort of Supergirl?"

Enthusiastically, Rachel nodded her head up and down. "That's exactly it. When I think about Superman, I think of the outside of his body and what his body can do on the outside, I never considered in the inside. I never considered my insides. I never considered how fragile my life can be. I thought I had think skin, but I don't. I've been noticing every little vein I can see through my skin and it makes me sick. That's one reason why I wear long sleeves and pants now. When I think about donating blood, I think about what effect it might have on my heart with the blood lost and thinking surely it must be bad. Before, I never would have thought about it."

Before she could let Rachel go on any longer, Santana decided to jump in, "In other words, you're grossing yourself out."

"Yes and I can't stop. As times I would be okay and thinking things are normal, but then something happens to trigger how gross out I've become at my body being a home for organs that might fail me at any minute. I don't want to die."

_Okay, I don't have to worry about suicide anymore. I just have to worry about keeping Rachel sane. Seriously, why do I even care? _"Berry, you're not going to die any time soon. You seem pretty healthy to me."

"I know, but you can now see why I'm a little uncomfortable about my body. Doing all the research on my cousin, Olivia made me look at my body in a way that I normally wouldn't have. It has scared me beyond belief."

"It's no wonder, you've changed so much."

Rachel shrugged at this, "It's only part of the story though. Like my cousin, Nick, I found myself with a new perspective on life and where my life should head."

"What do you want your life to head?"

"I want to do some good in the world and I find that providing the world with my voice is not the way do it. I'm not saying that art of singing would not be appreciated, but the beauty of art doesn't really matter in the end."

Sitting back in the vanity chair, Santana took a moment to really study Rachel. The girl is grossed out about her body, but she's not Miss Pillsbury, who is a giant germaphobe. Rachel couldn't care about one germ, she cared more about not being grossed out by her own flesh. If Santana had gone through the same thing, she wouldn't know what to do with her life. Heck, she might have tried to kill herself so she wouldn't have to worry about how fragile her body was. How Rachel had managed to keep up the will to live was beyond Santana's comprehension. She had to give the other girl props. She also had to give the girl props with her new attitude of wanting to change the world in some way. However, she was mighty shocked that the method wanted to change the world had nothing to do with her talent in the arts. Honestly, Santana thought that Rachel would believe that the world could change through the inspiration of music. _I wonder what's going on through her mind._

Santana could have pondered that thought for a very long time, but her patience was wearing out. "What does matter?"

"The basics," declared Rachel. "Food, shelter, and medical care, as long as people have those things life can go on."

"What about education?"

"That's good to because it can give you skills one needs to get the basics. Unfortunately, singing does not help in getting the basics."

At this Santana was confused, "Sure it does, you sing to get money and money gets you the basics."

"Yes, but what if there's an apocalypse of some sort. Money becomes obsolete and so does singing. To survive one need to know how to grow food and how to start fires and build shelters.

At this Santana fought the urge to laugh, instead she decided she should just go home and think things through. That she believed that she just might need mental help herself. She looked at her watch to see the time and looked back up the Rachel. "It's been real talking to you, but I have to be going."

Rachel stood up from the bed with her, "You think I'm going crazy, don't you?"

At this Santana sighed, "Berry, you have always been crazy. It's just you stepped onto a new level of crazy."

Rachel didn't say anything after that. She just led Santana to the front door. They both said their good-byes.


	6. Chapter 6

Two weeks and counting… that's how long it's been since Santana stepped away from Rachel Berry and all her craziness. She decided for her mental health to stay away from Rachel for a while. She still wanted to know the whole story because she knew there was more to the story then Rachel was saying. Santana had wanted to write down a list of questions that she had so she would make she that she didn't miss anything, but then she thought better of it. She just wanted to relax and enjoy her life as much as she can.

Speaking of life, Valentine Day was fast approaching and the halls the McKinley high was shouting romance in the most commercial of ways. Santana could of cared less for the holiday. She had no one special to share it with. Her mind floated over to Brittany, who she had believed at one point, could have been the love of her life. However, she just wasn't feeling anything towards anyone. This actually frightened her for a moment before she realized that she was pretty content on just being herself without someone to love.

In glee club, she sat in the choir room and enjoying an exciting conversation with Brittany, who was telling her all about her upcoming Valentine Day date with Artie. Santana couldn't have been happier for her dear friend. She loved to see the girl smile and knowing that Artie made Brittany happy made Santana happy as well. She once read that if you love something set it free. If that thing stays away it's not meant to be and if it comes back then it was. Whatever her relationship was with Brittany, she would be content with whatever.

During the conversation, Mr. Shue came in excited for the Glee rehearsals. Today, they were just going to work on 'Earth Angel.' While Quinn and the rest of the Unholy Trinity sang the song, the rest of the club would sit back and take note on anything that the girl group might need to work on. That was the plan; of course, there was thing that halted the girls from being their performance.

Finn raised his hand before Mr. Shue could even instruct the girls to come up front and do their thing. Smiling at the eagerness of the boy, Mr. Shue let Finn have the floor, much to Santana's chagrin. She wanted to just sing and get things over with. She rolled her eyes as Finn walked into the middle of the room after addressing the band and making sure they were ready when he gave the cue to go on.

"Um…" he began, "I know this might not be the time or the place, but I do have something on my mind. It really just concerns Rachel. Um… I still want to be with you and I… well…" he nodded at the band as they struck up the melody to Take That's "Back For Good." Santana watch as Finn sang his giant heart out to a girl who dumped him. To tell the truth, Santana couldn't really blame the guy for trying to woo Rachel back. Seriously, Valentine was coming up and he just wanted to spend that day with the person he loved. If Santana had someone, she would have done the same thing. Towards the end of the song, Finn got down on his knees in front of Rachel and put her hands in his and sang to her as best as he could.

Santana had watched the display and noticed how Rachel looked mighty uncomfortable with her hands being held by Finn's. This was pretty curious with Santana as she breathed in knowing she had another upcoming talk with the brunette, hopefully this time some of her confusion would cease.

Once the song ended, Finn smiled brightly at Rachel and waited for her to say something. Unfortunately when she opened her mouth, it was the opposite of what he was expecting. She removed her hands from his and smiled at him, "Finn, you're really sweet and I find nothing wrong with you. You didn't do anything. I just honestly don't want to be in a relationship with you anymore. I'm sorry."

Feeling rejected and slightly humiliated, Finn excused himself and walked out of the class room. To bring morale back to the glee club, Mr. Shue instructed Quinn and her posse to come to the front of the class room and do their song. Santana watched Quinn as she waited for the blond to give the band the go ahead, but the blonde hesitated a moment before clearing her throat. "Um… Mr. Shue, after I sing 'Earth Angel' there's another song I would like to sing."

"I'm find with that."

Quinn smiled and gave to cue for the band to start. Santana knew the song inside out again so it gave her a little bit of time to think. Her mind was focused on the fact that Quinn had another song prepared to sing. Santana wondered what it was all about and who it was for. She didn't have enough time to actually dwell on it as the song she was singing came to an end with a standing ovation from the glee club.

Mr. Shue clapped his hand like there was no tomorrow, "That was so good girls." He turned to the rest of the club, "Do you guys have anything that they might want to work out?"

There were a few suggestions given and the Unholy Trinity promised to take the comments and work on correcting their mistakes. After the comments being given and taken, Quinn took the floor again after the go ahead from Mr. Shue. She cleared her throat while Santana and Brittany went back to their sits, "Okay, I'm not very good with expressing my feelings, but there is something I do need to say…"

She nodded her head to the band. A soft melody filled the choir room. It took moment for the song registered with Santana. Curious as to who the song was meant for, Santana listened as Quinn began to sing, "Never Had a Dream Come True," from S Club 7, who was later named S Club because one of the members decided to call it quits for a while. At first, Santana thought that Quinn might have meant Sam, but she wasn't making eye contact with him and she knew darn well it wasn't Puck. _Could it be Mr. Shue? _Santana quickly scratched that off as Quinn finally turned her gaze to the person, who the song was directed to: Rachel Berry.

Santana thought her heart might stop. She had no clue… well… there were a few signs, but it still came as quite a shock to see Quinn singing her heart out to Berry. The poor pretty blond girl followed in Finn's footsteps and walked over to Rachel, but instead of getting down on her knees, she just sat on the seat next to Rachel and held her hands or brushing her hair away from her eyes. Everything was just over whelming for Santana. She just didn't like someone else messing with Rachel. Rachel was hers. Well… technically…Rachel was more of a project to her… but that's the point. Rachel was her project. No one should interfere with what's hers. Even if it is Quinn, her frenemy. So lost in her sudden jealousy, Santana failed to noticed how uncomfortable, Rachel was with Quinn actually touching her.

At the end of the song, Rachel was left rather speechless. She didn't reject Quinn. She just up and ran from the room. Santana's heart went with her.


	7. Chapter 7

Santana was pacing back and forth at the end of Quinn, as said person sat on the bed with Brittany. Both were hugging pillows as they watched Santana with worry. The latina looked as if she was going to pound someone's face in and the way she turned her head every now and again to Quinn, well it was easy to see where her target was. After a few more moments of Santana fuming over whatever she was fuming from… (She never really said. She just pulled Quinn aside and said that they were going to her house and now. Brittany just followed along knowing her best friends needed her to keep the peace.)… The latina stopped in her pacing and was looking at the other two girls as if she had just managed to control her temper.

"Quinn, what the hell was that is glee?" she asked irritatedly.

The blond just shrugged, "Just what it looked like. Do you have a problem with me trying to woo Rachel Berry?"

Santana furrowed her brows. She hated that she had a problem that her frenemy was trying to woo Rachel Berry. She just couldn't figure out why. When it was Finn, she had no problem with it, but when it was Quinn, she wanted to tear the girl up. For a brief moment she thought it could be that she might have a crush on Quinn, but the moment past where she realized that getting intimate with Quinn was just plain gross. It would like getting intimate with one's own sister. Seriously, Santana viewed Quinn as a sister in the most dysfunctional of ways.

Then she thought back on Rachel and how she thought about the girl being hers in some way. Yeah, she could tolerate the munchkin, but to have feeling for her… that was rather scary and she didn't want to think about that because she didn't know what to do with it. _Face it, I just don't want to take a good look at my feelings for the girl._ Instead of insinuating that she might have feelings for the brunette, she went down a different path.

"Hell, yes, what about your reputation?" Santana asked thinking she won the argument.

Quinn shrugged, "I don't care anymore. I've been thinking this since Christmas."

Santana took pause to digest this because she took time to digest everything. It's what she did before trying to make herself look like some sort of fool. Taking a shot in the dark, Santana asked, "Did you have fling with her during the break?"

"No," exclaimed Quinn. "I wish I would have, but… why would you even assume that I did?"

Santana smirked, "Song you sang, Barbie. It's one of those songs that says, 'I love you and I want to be with you, but I'm sorry if we can't be together. Please I really enjoyed the time we had together and I don't regret it.'"

At this Quinn threw her pillow at Santana, "S, I took it to mean something else."

"Like what?"

"I'm sorry for my past actions and I don't want to live in the past any longer and live each day wondering what could have between the two of us. I wanted to tell her how I felt and that I think about her always and I hope she takes the initiative to forgive me and maybe reciprocate my feelings."

Santana was about to protest Quinn's logic when Brittany intervened, "I think it is cool that everyone can have their own interpretation of a song. Isn't that awesome, Santana?"

Like a camera on a tripod, Santana slowly moved her head to look at Brittany with wide eyes. She didn't even know the girl knew the word "interpretation." She also couldn't believe that Brittany would side against her. Well, she took a moment to think about this because she really didn't want to be angry with Brittany. Sadly, she realized that Brittany was not with her or against her, she just wanted to point out that everyone has their own opinion.

Santana fold her arms across her chest and sat on the edge of the bed like some sort of petulant child. "Fine, whatever," she conceded. "But, still, why are you now taking growing a pair and going after Berry? Does it have anything to do with her change?"

"Partially," Quinn admitted. "I hate that she gave up her dream so quickly and I thought it was just her pulling off another one of her drama stints, but I was wrong. I realized that she really does want to move on. Honestly, I think it has something to do with her cousin, Olivia."

"You know about Olivia?" asked Santana in disbelief and disappointment. She honestly believed that she only knew about that. Of course she realized that Rachel was someone who would have told anybody and their dog about something a dramatic as a cousin with Lupus. "I can't believe she told you."

At this Quinn looked a little sheepish, "She didn't actually tell me anything."

This sort of relieved Santana, "How do you know about her cousin?"

"How do you know?" Quinn asked.

"We talked," Santana said with a shrug, "but seriously, if she didn't tell you how do you even know?"

"About a week after she back, I couldn't take the new her. She wasn't the person I had a crush on for the past couple of years." Santana was going to protest here, but Quinn held up a hand to stop her, "I know I'm shallow and should accept everything about her including her changes if I truly love her. I was just confused and I just didn't know what to do. I sort of invested on her and her family to see if there was some sort of family troubles. Good news, they are financial stable and her fathers are in the most excellent of health along with Rachel. Past that I had to dig deeper and came up with her cousin, Olivia."

Santana didn't know if she should be worried about Quinn or proud of her. She decided not to judge because she would have done the same thing and she admitted it causing the tension in the room evaporate with giggles. After the giggles died down, some of the tension resumed. Brittany asked the question she was dying to ask because she felt in the dark, "What's wrong with Rachel's cousin?"

"She has lupus," both Quinn and Santana said at once.

"You mean she's going to turn into a werewolf?"

Both girls looked at Brittany trying to figure out her logic. "What do you mean?" asked Quinn.

"Harry Potter's father's friend was a werewolf, he's name was Lupin."

Santana shook her head, "No, Britts, she not going to turn into a werewolf. Lupus is a disease that causes problems with the joints and can heavily affect the organs of the body like kidneys. Unfortunately, there's no cure for Lupus."

Both girls looked at Santana as if she lost her mind. She shrugged, "I did a little research."

The other girls left it there. After a moment's silence Quinn got the courage to ask, "Do you think she liked the song? I mean she didn't reject it like she did with Finn."

"True, but she run out on you," Santana pointed out.

"I didn't think she liked you touching her, Q," Brittany said as she snuggled down into the bed.

The other girls looked at her. "What do you mean?" asked Quinn.

Realizing she can't stay in a comfortable position, Brittany sat up and stretched, "You saw how Rachel didn't like how Finn was holding her hands, she did the same thing with you, Quinn."

"Maybe, she just doesn't like you," Santana teased because she felt a weight come off her back.

Quinn just furrowed her brow, "I just made her uncomfortable because of all the things I put her through. She probably thought the song was some sort of trap or something. Dang it!"

"That's not it," Brittany said. "She likes you and trusts you when you're sincere. Because she didn't reject you showed that she thought you were sincere. She just don't like people touching her."

"You know this how?" asked Santana.

Brittany took a breath in to explain her tale. "About a week ago, Sam asked Rachel on a date."

"What?!" exclaimed both of the other girls who looked as if they could kill someone.

Brittany snickered like a chocolate bar before going on, "Yeah."

"How do you know this?" asked Quinn.

Shrugging Brittany said, "I was talking with Rachel about a joint project that we have together in woodshop."

The silence was deafening. Who would have thought that Rachel and Brittany would be into woodshop? Seriously, what is the world coming to?

"Why are you guys in woodshop?" asked Quinn.

Followed by Santana asking, "I didn't even know you like shop class."

Brittany smiled brightly at this, "I wanted to learn how to make a cat house for Mr. (Drat! I forgot her cat's name. No wait, it's Tubbington, right? Oh, I don't know. Sigh.) and a scratching post."

"What about Rachel?" asked Quinn.

"Oh, you know how she's like in every club at school. Well, she decided to take what she learn from the FFA and actually apply it to a project she's working on."

"What that's?" asked Santana.

"She is planning on building a green house behind her house. She hopes that if she can do it then she wants to join that one program that deals with nun's clothing for homeless people."

"Huh?" asked Quinn.

Santana looked at her rival and said, "I think she means Habitats for Humanity."

"That's it," Brittany said as she nodded her head up and down like a bobble head. "Until she is better at building, she's working at the soup kitchen."

The other two girls were just stunned.

"I can't believe I missed this on my research on her," cried Quinn. "When did you find this out?"

"On the date with Sam," Brittany said in a like duh matter.

Santana pinched the bridge of her nose for a moment to reign in her feelings. "Okay, from the start, tell us what happen between Rachel and Sam and how you ended up on their date."

The tall blond pouted a moment, "Well, it wasn't really a date. It was more like friends hanging out at the Lima Bean. See, Sam came up to Rachel and me and asked Rachel if she wanted to go on a date with him. She asked him why he wanted to date her and he said that he was looking around at the girls in glee club and realized that he didn't really know Rachel at all. He thought asking her on a date would help him get to know her more and to see if he really wanted to share kisses with her. Rachel said that she did not want to share kisses with anyone, but she would be happy to spend time with Sam as friends. Sam was okay with that and asked the both of us to go to the Lima Bean. We had a really great time. Sam was happy with Rachel's plans to help those who need help that he said he would also help out at the soup kitchen with her."

"Okay," Santana said as she processed the information. She had to admit Rachel Berry going all Mother Teresa was pretty sweet. As she glanced at Quinn, she could tell the other girl thought so too. "So, you guys had a great time, but that still doesn't explain why you think Rachel doesn't like to be touched."

At this Brittany pouted again like she was thinking of a sad memory, "When it was time to go home, I gave Rachel a hug and she felt squirmy, like it was uncomfortable. I had given her a hug before and she liked it. Sam also gave her hug in way of thank-you and she was squirmy then too. I wonder why she doesn't like to touch people anymore."

Santana had to stop and think about this for a moment. She thought back on her last conversation with Rachel and how Rachel said that she felt uncomfortable in her body. She wondered if her new found fear of touching people was this. Perhaps Rachel not only viewed her own body as fragile, but also the bodies of others. Or perhaps, Rachel can't just look on the surface of a person and only see their organs and blood. Santana stopped there. Rachel truly did gross herself out with the human body. No wonder, she broke up with Finn. If she was to explain herself to him, he wouldn't get it. Heck, Santana didn't really get it, but she wanted to.

She wanted to tell Quinn and Brittany her theory, but she didn't trust Brittany to keep her mouth shut. She was afraid that if Brittany let slip how much Rachel hated blood and whatever, then Rachel would be put into a whole new level of bullying. Santana could just imagine the prom scene from _Carrie._ Yeah, she was not about to let that happen. So, she vowed to just talk to Quinn when they were alone. Together they would come up with a plan to show Rachel that the human body is not something gross but something to be cherished.


	8. Chapter 8

The hand on the stirring wheel twitched, as its owner fought to keep from adjusting the rearview mirror to get a better look at the occupant in the back seat of her car. Instead, Santana made due with just looking into the mirror every now and again to see Rachel sleeping away peacefully as if she didn't care that she had been sort of kidnapped by two of the fiercest girls of McKinley High School.

Three days after Quinn's confession, Santana eventually cornered Quinn and told her about the whole Rachel finding her body not so pleasant. Quinn was horrified to learn that Rachel found herself disgusting, but she was not surprised. She had admitted to Santana that, she had believe that Rachel might have had a self-image problem, but Santana corrected her on this claiming that it was not an issue with self-image, it was an issue of hating having a body in general, the medical stuff. This really threw Quinn for a loop because she never even thought this problem would exist.

Since Santana told her about Rachel's problem, Quinn decided to confine in Santana about her being once known as "Lucy Caboosey." Santana was amazed that Quinn would actually admit to something personal like that, but Quinn just told her from her own experience with hating her body. Of course, it was mainly, an image problem but only up until her nose job. Quinn had admitted in doing research on the nose so she could have a clearer understanding if getting a nose job would affect her bodily functions. Whereas Rachel might have been disgusted, Quinn found the nose fascinating though. Being it as it is, it was a little hard for her understand how Rachel would hate things like that.

After secrets were spilt, a plan was made. Since it seemed like Rachel was refusing to even think about doing something romantic on Valentine Day with anyone, Santana and Quinn decided it would be a great opportunity to kidnap Rachel for a the Valentine weekend and take her out of town for some R and R. They began to make plans on what would be the most relaxing of experiences.

Before the kidnapping, both cheerleaders decided to ask Rachel's fathers for permission to take their daughter away for the week to cheer her up. Before this meeting, both Santana Quinn teetered on the edge because they feared rejection. They figured that both men must have known who they were and what they have previously done to Rachel. However, to their amazement, Leroy and Hiram agreed which confused them. They just thanked the heavens for this miracle without over thinking things. The fact was both men seemed thankful that someone was interested in trying to restore Rachel's spirits. They had confided in the cheerleaders that they've been worried about their baby girl because she has not been herself lately. With disappointed eyes, Leroy and Hiram explained how much it bothered them that Rachel had up and quiet her acting/singing/dancing classes. They also mentioned how much they missed hearing her sing around the house and with them for family sing-alongs. (Santana and Quinn nearly lost it on this one. Seriously, family sing-a-longs? No wonder, Rachel has been strange when it came to music). Having Rachel's fathers' blessing, Santana and Quinn planned out the rest of the weekend.

On the day of the kidnapping, just four hours prior, Santana and Quinn let themselves into the Berry resistance (the Berry men gave them a key for the occasion). First they dropped off a bag in the kitchen and then climbed up the stairs to Rachel's room. They opened the door and stood over Rachel's sleeping form fondly for a moment or two. Santana couldn't help, but think about how cute the girl looked, especially with the steady stream of drool coming out of her mouth. She looked away from sleeping cutie and looked at Quinn, who was looking at her as if knowing that Santana was going to look back at her then. Santana chalked it up to too many years on the Cheerios.

They didn't need any words as their eyes locked on one another's as they held a silent conversation. With a nodded of their heads, Santana swiftly pulled off Rachel's comforter in one second, but in the next, Quinn brought a blanket down to cover up the rest of Rachel's form. She wanted to take in the account that Rachel might not want to have skin on skin contact even in her sleep. She picked the girl up bridle style as gently as possible. Santana watched on a little annoyed. She hated the fact that Rachel looked rather good in the Blonde's arms. She also hated the fact that Rachel seemed to be a really sound sleeper. She would have loved for the girl to wake up and walk down stairs on her own, but that didn't happen. Sure, she could have taken the girl down stairs, but Quinn was taller and had a little more muscular strength then she did. Actually, they held a fight over who would take Rachel down stairs. Quinn won.

After Quinn left, Santana snuck into Rachel's bathroom and pulled out a clean tooth brush, her toothpaste, and other toiletries the girl might need for the weekend. She stuffed them all into a clear garbage bag she found under the sink. Giving both the bathroom and bedroom look over for personal needs, Santana walked out thinking she got everything. She causally walked down the stairs like she owned the place and walked into the kitchen to find Rachel semi awake and tied to a chair. Her head swiveled to see Quinn placing an empty banana peel on the table while still holding onto the banana. She smiled sweetly to Rachel and offered her the banana. Rachel, who was normally a morning person, but only after five-thirty and not four, seemed to be in some other world as she graciously ate away at the banana. Once the banana was gone, Quinn helped her with some soy milk and a rice cake with grape jelly.

By the time, breakfast was done for all three girls, Rachel seemed to be more coherent and a little confused as to what was going on. She didn't know if she should be afraid or if she should just go along with things. Whatever, the case may be, she just remained silent to the astonishment of both cheerleaders. They would have bet money that Rachel would have put up some sort of fight or some serious berating. What they didn't know is that as much as Rachel was a morning person, she simply wasn't a morning talker until around eight. For the most part, she liked the sound of her voice, but she wasn't really talkative unless she had something to say or really nervous. When she spoke, it wasn't because she liked the sound of her voice (like Santana), she talked to express herself emotionally or to take command slash wanting to help if/where she could. Otherwise, she had found the pleasure of not talking, but those moments were pretty rare for Rachel. However, no one really knew this about Rachel at the moment.

Once the things for breakfast was cleaned up, Santana untied Rachel from the chair and lead her over to the front door while Quinn shut the lights off and made sure they didn't forget anything. When they got to the door, Rachel paused and looked down at her feet. They were bare. At this point Rachel decided to become vocal, "Um, I'm not sure of what's going on, but I think I'll need shoes and a change of outfit."

Santana just shrugged then smirked, "You don't have to worry about a thing."

At this point Quinn had reached the door with her blanket out for Rachel to step in, "You don't need shoes, because I'm going to carry you to the car."

Rachel looked at the both of them as if they had a screw loose. She was going to say something, but Quinn beat her to the punch as she wrapped Rachel in the blanket and lifted her up. The small one didn't protest. Sure she could have fought, but she felt oddly safe with them, but she couldn't figure out why. Plus, she was still sleepy.

Quinn carried Rachel to the car, while Santana locked up. She was soon by to car to open the back seat up for Quinn and Rachel. The blonde stuffed Rachel with practice ease in the back of the car and shut the door to move to the front of the car. When everyone was in, the trio took off for a nice relaxing weekend to who knows where. Well, Santana and Quinn knew.

. At the beginning of the journey, Rachel had asked where they were going as the left Lima behind. Santana told her that it was a surprise and that she should have better patience. Quinn had said that most important part of any trip to any destination was the journey. Santana added that Rachel should just sit back, relax and catch a few more Zs. Santana watched as Rachel accepted the offer of getting more sleep. Quinn pulled out some book and began to read while Santana drove on.

An hour on the road, Rachel had woken up saying she had to go to the bathroom. Santana was a little ticked because she wanted to go about another hour before stopping, but Rachel had made a valid point in that she had been rushed out the door without going to the bathroom. The cheerleaders felt like total heels as forgetting that point and Santana pulled over at a rest area. When the stopped there was a small problem, Rachel needed shoes. Quinn smirked and walked to the back of the car and pulled out a pair of new flip-flops. She handed them over to Rachel, who slipped them on and took the blanket with her since she had no coat. A little while later, the three was on the road again.

It was three hours later and the brave group of young women was still on the road. Rachel had gone back to sleep which caused Santana a little worry. She couldn't understand why the girl would sleep the trip away. Personally, she loved road trips and she was quite use to them since being on the Cheerio squad. She figured Quinn was the same. She took a glance over at the blond and sure enough the girl was awake.

Feeling eyes on her, Quinn popped her head up and saw Santana turned her head towards the road. From the corner of her eye, Santana noticed how, Quinn looked behind her to the sleeping brunette. "Should we worry?"

"Nope," said Santana, even though she was. "We did get her out of bed awfully early."

"Yes, but she should be awake."

Santana shrugged, "Perhaps, she's scared that we'll do something to her."

At the end of her comment, Santana could feel the iciness coming from Quinn's eyes, "I would never hurt her. Never again."

"Hey, chill, I know," Santana said to appease the other Cheerio. "I wouldn't either."

Giving a grunt, Quinn turned forward again.

About ten minutes later, they both heard rustling in the back seat and a very manly sounding yawn, which surprise both girls. Santana wanted to laugh and turn around to enjoy seeing Rachel wake up, but she was driving. However, she noticed that Quinn gave a little giggle before turning to look at Rachel. "Hey, sleepy head."

Rachel groaned a moment to get the sleepy out her before saying, "Hey."

Santana looked in the rearview mirror for a moment and watched as Rachel look outside the car window as she rubbed her eyes, "Where are we?"

"Not far from Terre Haute," Santana explained.

"Where's that?" asked Rachel.

"In Indiana." The answer was said with such nonchalant, it was quite unbelievable to hear.

"Indiana?!" cried Rachel. "What in the world are we doing in Indiana?"

Santana shrugged, "Just passing through."

"'Just passing through'?" Rachel rubbed between her eyes. "This… I have no words for this."

"Cool," replied Santana in which she received a slap from her co-pilot.

Shaking her head at her friend's sarcastic nature, Quinn looked behind her, "Rachel, don't worry. Everything is going to be fine."

"Then why don't you tell me where we're going?"

"We just don't want to ruin anything, okay? You can trust us. We mean you no harm."

"Okay," Rachel sighed out once again looking out the window. Her eyes caught hold of a sign and then she looked down on herself. "Um, as much as I trust you two, but I have a problem."

"What's that?" asked Santana.

"Um, I'm still in my pajamas. Unless you have clothes to go along with the flip flops, I think we should stop somewhere, but then again I don't have any money."

Quinn giggled in her quiet manner, "Don't worry about money. We got that taken care of but as for your clothes…no, we don't have any for you."

Rachel shook her head, "You didn't think this through, did you?"

"No, we did," Santana piped in. "You just have to trust that we have many tricks up our sleaves."

Quinn nodded in agreement, "Exactly, so don't worry about it. Now where would you like to go to get some clothes?"

Rachel bit her bottom lip, "I don't want you to spend any money on me."

"Don't worry about it," Quinn waved.

"Okay, um… could you take me to Wal-Mart?"


	9. Chapter 9

Twenty minutes later, the trio found themselves walking into a super Wal-Mart. Well, most Wal-Marts are supers but every now and again a normal Wal-Mart without a grocery section could be found. This was not one of those. Santana nearly had a heart attack at the thought of going to a Wal-Mart. The very idea unnerved her to her core. Wal-Mart was simply beneath her. However, if Rachel wanted Wal-Mart, then Santana would simply buy her a Wal-Mart of her own and yet she didn't want to go that far. Instead she simply drove to the Wal-Mart in Terre Haute.

Having nothing better to do, Santana followed after Quinn and Rachel as they went to the women clothes section. Once in the section, she watched as Rachel looked around her at the different racks trying to find the right one. After a moment or two, Rachel when over to the where the athletic pants was and found a rack with clearance items. She skimmed through the patterns and pulled out a pair of black yoga type pants with pockets, size whatever in petite length.

A smile spread on Rachel's face at the find. It made Santana's heart swell. To bring her back down to earth, Santana huffed, "You know you don't have to buy clearance."

"I know," Rachel said, "but I don't want to take advantage of what might be good thing."

_The girl is just too thoughtful, _Santana said. _Wait until later._

"Whatever," Santana gruffed out.

Rachel made to move away before being stopped by Quinn, "Hey, Rachel you may need to pick out another pair or two."

Rachel looked at Quinn for a moment and thought about things, "You're right." She went back to looking at the racks with Quinn with her.

"Don't you want a pair of jeans?" asked Quinn.

Rachel looked over to the blonde, "Only if they're on the bagging side. I hate how jeans on so tight."

"Maybe, you get the wrong size half-pint," Santana said as she walked over to her.

"Even the one's the fit me are so tight. I like the ability to move my legs around. That's why I wore skirts."

"Why don't you now?"

"I got tired of them and I hated how people looked at me in my skirts. It made me feel uncomfortable and dirty. So no more short skirts for me."

_I can respect that, _the Latina thought. "That's fine." She looked over at Quinn who was nodding her head in agreement.

Rachel found a pair of loose fitting cargo pants, color: seaweed green, and another of athletic pants, both on clearance. At this point Quinn offered to carry Rachel's items. Rachel put up a small fight, but finally relented. Surprisingly enough, the petite girl didn't look at any tops in the women's section. Instead she went on to the undergarment section. She picked up a pack of Faded Glory white ankle socks, a three sports bra combo hanger, and a pack of Faded Glory white underwear.

At this point, Santana wanted to scream a bit. She was hoping the girl would pick out something sexy. By looking at Quinn, she could tell the blonde was also disappointed. Shrugging it off, Santana went to the front of the store and picked up an empty shopping cart. She figured that Rachel would pick up a few more items and she would be darned to see Quinn or herself be used as some sort of pack horse. She liked Rachel and carrying an item or two, but anything more than six is just too much.

She brought the cart around back to women section and found her companions were no longer there. She pulled out her phone and gave Quinn a text. The blonde replied just one word: shoes. Breathing in, Santana huffed back to the back of the store to the shoe area and found the group. Quinn nodded to her in thanks and put her load into the cart.

Rachel was busy looking at the different styles of shoes, but more importantly at the shoes that were on clearance. They had a lot of sandal wear or shoes similar to those and few pairs of sneakers. Eventually she found a black and pink pair of skater shoes. She tried them on and smiled at how comfy they felt. She took them off and put them back in the box. Taking the box over to the cart, she placed the in with the rest of the things she needed and smiled up at Santana, "Thank-you."

Santana shrugged even though she was rather proud of herself, "No problem."

At this, Rachel smiled again and gave Santana a hug in delight much to Quinn's jealousy.

"Hey where's mine," she complained in a teasing manner.

Rachel looked over to her and gave her a smile to along with a hug,"Thank-you." She released the tall blond and walked off to… the craft section?

Both Quinn and Santana followed after Rachel as she looked down certain aisle until she found where she was certain her quest would lead her. Curiously, Santana pushed the cart along until she reach where Rachel stop. She glanced at the shelf and found herself looking at plain t-shirts of varying colors. Rachel pulled off three t-shirts: black, blue and pink. She even picked up a white sweat shirt. She placed them in the cart. Once done, she looked to her companions and sighed, "That's it."

"Are you sure?" asked Quinn.

Rachel simply gave a nod.

"Okay then," Quinn said. "Hey S, I think why we're here we should look around a little more. We have time."

Santana laughed, "What for? We have want we want."

"Actually, I was thinking about going over to the electronics to see if we could pick up a movie or two and then go over to the grocery section and pick out some food items."

It seemed rather reasonable to Santana, "Sure."

They walked towards the movie selection and looked through the titles. Quinn looked at some of the older films, Rachel went over to the Television section while Santana stuck to the new arrivals. She couldn't find anything. Most of the new arrivals suck. The only good ones were the Marvel movies and those that are fairy tales. Other than that everything was lame. Fed up, Santana pushed along to Rachel as she was peering at a DVD.

"What do you have there?" Santana asked to be polite.

Rachel looked up from the DVD, "It's _Once Upon a Time."_

"What's it about?"

Rache l pouted while thinking of an answer, "It's about the queen from Snow White cursing fairy tale people to our land. I've never seen it, but I heard it's real good."

"May I?" Santana asked as she held her hand out for the DVD box. She looked at it for a moment and read the back of the box for a better description. She had to admit, it sounded very intriguing. She tossed it the basket. "I haven't seen it either. Let's give it a shot." She then looked at the other TV shows on DVD and picked up the last season of Smallville.

Rachel shot her a look.

Santana shrugged before laughing, "I'm a Chloe fan. She is smart and hot. Honestly, I surprised she lasted as long as she did on the series. The audience must have really loved her. I know I did. At the end of every season, I hold my breath waiting to know if she would go on. I'm mean I knew Lana Lang would, but to tell you the truth, I'm really surprise it went on for ten seasons and that they would put Lois Lane. At first wasn't so sure of Erica Durance playing Lois, but I grew to love her. I like how the writers kept her pretty much the same throughout the series."

"What do you mean?" asked Rachel.

"Unlike Lana, who went all crazy dark, Lois remained true to herself, a constant light."

Rachel laughed.

"What?"

"You're truly a geek. Who do you like more Batman or Superman?"

"Honestly?"

Rachel nodded her head.

"Both."

At this time, Quinn came over with a movie of her own. When Rachel asked what she picked out, Quinn handed the DVD over to Rachel who got a bright smile on her face, "Seriously?"

Quinn nodded.

Santana rolled her eyes, "What is it?"

Rachel smiled as she handed the movie over to Santana. Her first reaction was to smirk at the fact that it was a collection of Disney classics, four to be exact. There was _Darby O'Gill and the Little People, The Gnome Mobile, The One and Only, Genuine, Original Family Band, _and _The Happiest Millionaire. _She only knew of the first movie since it had the original James Bond in it."What's so great about these movies?"

Blushing a little Quinn went on to explain, "As a kid I loved watching these movies with my family. That was before all the drama. So it brings me happy memories."

"Not to mention they're all musicals," Rachel squealed.

At this Santana raised an eyebrow, "I thought musicals weren't your thing anymore."

"Being on Broadway is not my thing anymore," Rachel corrected, "But I still love a good musical and I haven't seen these movies in ages." She then began to bit her lip. "You may not like them, but you may like _The Gnome Mobile _or at least the ending."

"My favorite is _The Happiest Millionaire_," Quinn exclaimed. "The mother of the movie is Greer Garson, who was played Elizabeth Bennet in the 1940, black and white version of _Pride and Prejudice. _Even though she was like in her thirties when she made the movie, she really did Elizabeth Bennet justice, especially her eyes."

Santana huffed, "So what?"

Quinn looked at her as she lost her head, "In the novel, Elizabeth Bennet is supposed to have the most engaging eyes. Keira Knightly don't have those eyes." She then looked over at Rachel and gave her a small smile, "Not that I'm pressuring anything, because I don't care what you do, but Rachel, you could portray a terrific Elizabeth."

Rachel blushed but shook her head, "No, your eyes are much more enchanting than my own."

Santana felt a stab in her heart. She hated how Quinn got a compliment. What's more, she hated that she wasn't familiar with _Pride and Prejudice _to actually get involved in the conversation. _Great, Rachel thinks of me as a geek and that Quinn has really pretty eyes. Who would I date?_

Rolling her eyes, she tossed the DVD collection in the basket, "So, should we go get snacks?"

With a nod from the other two, they began to walk over to the food section of the store. Then Rachel stopped at an end cap to picked-up a CD. Santana walked over to her and glanced at the title, "_Glee?! _What's Glee?"

Rachel just smiled, "It's a TV show about a Glee club who trying to survive and the members of the club, who try to get by day by day."

Santana picked the CD from Rachel and put it back, "I'm sorry, it just sound too close to home. Can we move on?"

Rachel laughed a little and agreed to go on, "Okay, but I think you're right. It is too close to home. I wonder if Nick audition piece went okay."

"What do you mean?" asked Quinn.

Rachel looked back at the girl, "You may not know this, but I have cousin and his name is Nick. We made a bet two months ago. I won."

"So?" asked Santana.

"Well, if I lost, I had to I had to take him to the movies. If I won, he had to film himself singing and sent it off to _Project Glee_."

"Nick can sing?" asked Quinn with curiosity.

"Yeah, he has a great voice. He was in choir when he went to high school. Actually, I'm rather jealous of his high school."

"Why?" asked Santana as she turned down the chip aisle.

"His high school had five choirs."

Santana stopped and turned towards Rachel as if she lost a head. "What the hell? I've never heard of such a thing. How is the even possible? Our school can barely come up enough people for our club."

"I know. Actually, Nick's school is rather cool; unfortunately, it's in another state and in a town where they value the arts. He said in junior high some football player played the Conrad Birdie in _Bye Bye Birdie. _Although, he did say the guy looked like Pee Wee Herman in a handsome way."

Both of the other girls laughed as Santana randomly picked cans of Pringles. Once they stopped, Quinn asked, "So what kind of choirs did they have?"

Rachel became all thoughtful for a moment, "There's a women's choir and a men's choir. According to Nick, no audition is necessary. He also said they only have one competition and three real concerts. After them there is a more advance choir with a combination of both girls and boys. They have the opportunity to sing in more concerts and competitions. After them, they have a show choir and an advance women choir (A/N: think about in season three where Santana and others were in an all women choir). The more advance the choir it the more they get to perform."

"How students end up in choir?"

"Seventy-five to a hundred," Rachel said with a smile. Then she bit her lip, "For fundraising they have like a dinner theater event. All the choirs get together and put on a show. The first time I went they had a medieval theme. All the choirs had the chance to sing. The lesser choirs acted as serving people as they brought out the food while the higher choir members had the ability to royalty. It was quite fun. The food was catered, the decorations were amazing and the music fit along with era they were trying to portray. However, "I'm in Love with a Girl Named Fred," does not come from the medieval period. The only thing medieval about it is the fact in comes from a sort medieval musical called, _Once Upon a Mattress._"

During Rachel's ramblings, Santana couldn't help but be glad that the girl could still talk if she wanted to. Not that she didn't find what the girl was saying interesting, but she just liked that girl would ramble. It was a source of normalcy. She liked it, but she also didn't mind some of Rachel's new mannerisms. She glanced over to Quinn, who looked like she was hanging onto the girl's every word. She didn't know what to make of Quinn but she knew that she really was in love with Rachel. She wonder what would happen if she put her name in the ring. Would she even have a chance with Rachel?

Sighing, she kept going down the grocery aisle and finding things to take along with them. Besides Santana the other two girls also put their input into food and drink choices. Through Santana they gain a lot of snack food items. Through Rachel they gain quite a bit health food item. From Quinn, she made sure they had food for actual meals, like peanut and jelly sandwiches. After they were done with shopping, they went to go check out.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: I like to thank all of you have read the story so far. Thanks to those have reviewed. If you read my profile, you would know that I won't beg for reviews, but I like them none the less. I took down chapter 10 and replaced it with this one.

* * *

"Hey Q," Santana said as she was looking a certain combs and brushes.

"Yeah?" asked Quinn as she plucked out some hair ties.

The trio hadn't left Wal-Mart yet due to the fact Rachel had a panic attack as seeing her hair was a complete mess. After checking out they decided to use the front store bathroom to flush out their systems and for Rachel to change into some better and warmer clothes. As she was looking in the mirror, she found herself looking at about five hour bed head. She asked if either Santana or Quinn somehow had a brush or a comb on them. Unfortunately, it was not the case. Sadly enough, Santana felt like she wanted to slam her head into something because she forgot to add a brush to the things she had to grab from the bathroom. Sure they could have lent Rachel they hair care instruments, but no matter how much they loved the girl, the very idea having someone else use their hair equipment was just…EW! It was like using someone's toothbrush to them. So Rachel was stuck in the restroom with bed head, while they went in search of the remedy.

"You know how she hugged us?" Santana asked.

"Yeah?"

"Well, she didn't flinch or anything."

There was silence as they thought about it. Normally, something like this wouldn't be too bad. A simple hug is no big deal. However, since Brittany's comment, they became rather in tuned with some of newly acquired quirks and yeah, it was odd that she was happy enough to hug them.

Quinn nodded her head as Santana pulled out a brush style that she would usually use on head thinking Rachel would probably have the same type a texture. "Maybe, she forgot that she doesn't like to be touched?"

Santana thought about it for a moment and figured it would be something they speak to Rachel about when they get to their destination. "Whatever, let's just go back to the munchkin and worry about it later."

Quinn nodded in agreement.

As they went back to the checkout counters again, Santana had another question, "Q?"

"Yes?"

"You know the DVD collection we bought?"

"Yes and what about it?"

Santana pursed her lips together trying to finger out the right words for her question, "You sort opened up on the whole happier-family-times thing." She knew Quinn wasn't one to reveal much about herself. She preferred not to speak much about her family life or her emotions.

At this, Santana watched as Quinn sucked in some air to give her courage to speak her next words, "I know we just want to know more about what's going on with her, but I want to open myself up to her. If I can use this as a chance to get closer to her so she could trust me again and give me a chance, I'm going to take it."

Santana didn't say anything after that. She didn't know what to say or better yet, she didn't know what to feel. A part of her felt like she was being betrayed or used. Used due to the fact that with some of her resent insights with Rachel, she was pushing the girl further into the arms of Quinn. She also felt jealous because she wanted to get closer to Rachel as well, but she didn't want to push things like Quinn. She was more afraid of the dreaded word, rejection.

Santana shrugged at this as they made their way to the restroom. Quinn went inside while Santana remained outside with the cart. She herself against the wall a little lost in thought trying to figure out if she really stood a chance at winning Rachel over. If there is one thing she had learned from her constant watch over Rachel, the girl didn't like being confronted or being pressured. She banged her head back against the wall and blamed the whole acceptance and peer pressure problems of the world. She fell in the trap too, but she knew it probably meant more to Rachel at being accepted, thus if she was confronted with something that might be bad for her, she would totally cave (A/N: Look at the whole marry Finn thing.)

At the end of her musings and before both Quinn and Rachel come out of the restroom, Santana decided it would be best sit back for a little while before jumping into things. Hopefully, once she learns more about the change that came over Rachel that she will be able to come up with a way to wiggle herself in the girl's heart. Smiling at this, she watched as the girl of her thoughts walk out.

Strange as it may, Santana is intrigued to see Rachel just standing there watching her for a moment then watching the cart as if it is the most interesting thing in the world. She shakes her head with a little laugh causing the eyebrows of both cheerleaders to arch in question. However, they don't say anything about what was funny as they walk back to the car.

They placed most of the items in the trunk except for a bag of food items.

"Rachel?" asked Quinn.

"Yes?"

"Do you want front seat this time?"

"Are you sure?"

Quinn nodded her head.

Rachel gave her smile and slid into the passage seat while Quinn took up the back seat. "Thank-you, Quinn it was rather thoughtful of you. To tell you the truth I don't really like the back sit."

Santana quirked an eyebrow at this, "Is that part of your diva complex?"

Rachel smiled as if Santana said a joke as she shook her head no, "Actually, I don't like long road trips. It makes me kind of sick and tired. Riding in the back sit makes it worse."

"You could have said something earlier," chided Quinn.

Santana was up there with Quinn's anger for various reasons. She was anger because she didn't want her car puke smelling. She was angry that Rachel didn't say anything. And she was also angry that her parents didn't say anything. _What irresponsible pricks!_

"I was afraid to ask, besides my sleep routine was rudely interrupted catching up on sleep is a no brainer."

Both of the Cheerios felt guilty and happy at the same time. Would bashful be the word for it? *Shruggs*

The car was once more on the road with Santana at the wheel. "Don't be afraid to voice something like," Santana said. "Just as long as no vomit ends up on my seats, I'm good."

Rachel giggled at that, "It's not that type of sickness, but regrettably, I did throw up once in a moving vehicle."

"What was it? A rollercoaster?"

"No, it was in front of my fathers' car when I was little. My daddy picked me up from middle school one day and I wasn't really feeling good all day, but I didn't understand why. Until I was almost home and I puked up sauerkraut."

Santana was appalled, "I would too if I had to eat that nasty bile."

"Hey, I still like sauerkraut. I just had the stomach flu."

There was a moment a silence before, Quinn broke it with a question. "Rachel, you're a vegan, right?"

"Yes," Rachel said with excitement as if she was thrilled to share this part of her.

"What made you become one? Was it your dads?"

Rachel shook her head, "Actually it was because of a cousin of mine."

"Let me guess, Nick," asked Santana.

At this Rachel nodded her head giving Santana an idea for a new nick name for her, 'Bobble.' She'll have to test it out later. "While he was in high school, he had to read a book called _The Jungle_. He was eighteen and I was eight. I was over at his family's house for the weekend while my fathers went out of town. He was reading the book and I was bored. I asked him to read some of it to me. He looked at me for a moment and decided he wouldn't because I wasn't old enough. I whined and he gave in. Honestly, I wished I didn't push too hard. Some of the passages he read made me sick."

Santana thought for a moment, "Let me guess, the book is about meat."

"Well, it's about a young man who works for a meat packing plant. It was just too much for my young mind."

Again silence reigned in the car for a moment before Quinn decided to pull a joke, "Remind me not to put that book on my reading list."

There was laughter in the car for a moment. A comfortable silence entered the car of three girls who were just enjoying their company in peace.

"How much longer do we have?" asked Rachel as she looked outside the window.

"About another, two hours or so," replied Santana. "If you feel ill at all, feel free to recline the seat back and sleep. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay."


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: This is the new Chapter 11.

* * *

"Hey, Berry," Santana said as she shook Rachel's shoulder to wake her up.

Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Rachel sat up and asked, "What? Where are we?"

Santana smirked as how cute sleepy Rachel looked. "We're here," she pointed out the passenger side of her car.

She watched as Rachel turned her head to see where Santana was pointing. Rachel had to rub her eyes again to make sure she was seeing what she was actually seeing, "Where is here?"

"Okawville?" Santana said as she opened her car door to get out.

"Just where is Okawville?" asked Rachel as she stepped out of the vehicle.

"It's in Illinois," Santana replied as she made her way to the back of her car to get their luggage and bags.

"Illinois?" Rachel asked in disbelief, "Why so far away from Ohio?"

Santana shut the trunk of the car and turned to Rachel, "Look around you and what do you see?"

Once again, Rachel swept her eyes around her because she could not believe what she was seeing. "It looks as if I stepped into a manga," she said.

Santana rolled her eyes, "Don't tell me you're one of those manga freaks."

"I think you mean, Okatu," Rachel said.

"What?" asked Santana as she slung a bag over her shoulder and gestured towards Rachel to help out with some of the bags.

Rachel did as she explained, "A manga freak official title is call an Okatu."

Santana shook head and laughed, "Only a manga freak would know that."

"Or someone who knows someone who is an Okatu," Rachel explained as she followed after Santana.

"Which are you?" asked Santana.

"I knew an Okatu," she said with a shrug. "Um, where's Quinn?"

"She went to check in and get the key to our room."

Rachel nodded as she looked around at the surrounding area. "You know this place feels so Japanese."

The Latina only shrugged, "I guess." In all honestly, she had no idea. The manga scene wasn't her, nor was this place. This onsen idea was Quinn's idea. When they were in their planning session on how to get Rachel to open up to them and explain her whole new change, Santana had said it would be nice to go to a spa. Quinn agreed and said that it would be even better they went to an actual natural hot springs. Santana liked the idea of going to a hot spring and wondered if there was one in Ohio. Quinn shrugged her shoulders and did a Google search. Unfortunately, no natural hot spring existed in Ohio.

Santana was willing to forgo it, but Quinn was truly adamant about the whole thing. Not wanting to waste her time in searching for a hot spring, she left the whole thing up to Quinn. A day or two later, Quinn came to her and told her about a hot spring in Illinois and place where they could stay and so on. Santana agreed to the whole thing without paying much attention to the fact she'll end up in some little Japan setting. Not that she cared now, but being here did reek of a small adventure.

Just out of curiosity, Santana asked Rachel, "So who was the Ok… whatever? You're cousin, Nick?"

"Nope," said Rachel, she bit her bottom lip as if trying to remember something, "A girl I was friends with named Luce."

Santana nodded her head, "That's cool, I guess." She would have pressed more, but at that time Quinn made her presence known. She grabbed her things from between the two other girls and walked them to the room they were staying in.

"This place is pretty cool," said Quinn. "They have regular American hotel rooms and traditional Japanese style rooms."

"What room do we have?" asked Santana praying for the American style.

"Japanese style," Quinn said. "I think it would be good to experience some Japanese traditions."

At this point Rachel jumped in, "You know, it would be cool to dive into Chinese traditions as well."

Both cheerleaders looked over at her confused. "Are you talking about the trip?" asked Quinn.

Rachel shook her head no. "I was thinking about Mike and Tina. From what little I know about them, it seems as if Mike's family is pretty traditional and Tina's is pretty Americanized. Of course, I could be wrong, but what I'm getting at is that with their help perhaps glee could get in touch with the Chinese side of things."

Both girls thought it might be a good idea to bring up at a later date and talk things over with Mike and Tina before saying anything about the idea in glee. Her idea brought along another idea of maybe focusing a week on Latin music and another week on focusing on the influence of black music in today's culture. They talked about these things until they came to their room.

Quinn pulled out the key card and slid it down. The light went green and Quinn slid the door open. Santana nearly had a fit at not seeing one sticky bed, "What are we to sleep on?"

Quinn shrugged as she dropped her stuff in a corner, "Japanese style futons."

Quirking an eyebrow up, Santana asked, "What?"

Rachel giggled as she put her bags downs, "Japanese style futons are like…" She stopped and looked as if she didn't know how to continue until her eyes lit up as if she thought of something. She walked over to the side of the room and opened up a cupboard. "I knew it." She pulled out a white folded up thing from the cupboard and laid it out flat until it looked like a twin mattress. "That's a futon."

"It sort of looks like one of those funky mattresses you get at Ikea," Santana said. She couldn't believe she's going to have sleep on the ground. She didn't like that idea at all. She sighed as she looked around the room. It was pretty much empty expect for the light on the ceiling and some coffee table in the middle of the ground. On one wall, she noticed it had a flat screen TV. Besides these things, the cream and brown room was pretty empty. (A/N: Just watch an Anime where they go to a hot spring. Hopefully, you get the picture.)

Sighing, she placed her bag in some corner, "So what do we do now?"

Quinn pulled something from her back pocket. She looked at what appeared to be a schedule. "This place has a spa. We just need to decide what to do. Then later we can head off to the hot spring for a good soak."

Santana cracked her neck, "I'm up for a massage. What about you, Berry?"

"I could do with a nap."

"What?!" asked Santana. "You slept for the whole ride and you want to take a nap?"

"I still feel a little queasy from the car ride. Give me about a half hour to an hour for a nap and I'll gladly to do anything."

Santana and Quinn both shared looks and shrugged. "Oaky."


	12. Chapter 12

**STOP**

**DON'T**

**GO**

**ANY**

**FARTHER**

**GO **

**BACK **

**TO **

**CHAPTER**

**ELEVEN**

**OR **

**THIS **

**CHAPTER**

**WON'T**

**MAKE**

**SENSE**

**I**

**REPLACED**

**TEN**

**FOR**

**ELEVEN**

**AND **

**ELEVEN**

**IS **

**A**

**NEW**

**CHAPTER**

* * *

They were relaxing away in a man-made hot spring, which waters were pumped from an actual hot spring. This method allowed for more spaces for people to soak. Santana took in the surrounding fencing and décor and was impressed. Except for not having an actual bed, Santana quite enjoyed the atmosphere of the place. Especially, being outdoors naked and soaking in a hot spring. Smiling to herself, Santana decided to turn her attention back her companions as they slipped out of the changing room. Her breath caught in her throat as her eyes raked over Rachel Berry's very naked body as the girl gently walked herself into the hot spring. The view left her momentarily breathless. Rachel's body was a piece of perfection. She hated how she had a crush on the singer, but then she realized that it could have been worst, like Jacob Ben Israel. Even in the warmth of the water, she shivered at the thought.

Since she focused most of her attention on Rachel, she didn't see Quinn come out to join them. Her attention only shifted when she noticed where Rachel after the girl found a place to sit. She cast her eyes towards the direction of Rachel's gazing and growled internally. _Of course, Rachel would be entranced with Quinn_, she thought. She would admit that Quinn was beyond perfect, but her perfection didn't do anything for Santana. It's not like she didn't like the tall blondes because she did (for instance Brittany). No, if she were to pin point why Quinn turned her off it would be her personality along with being Barbie doll perfect. Seriously, she couldn't see her doing the dirty with a doll. She liked the unique and beautiful and not the cookie cutter.

Taking a breath to ease her jealousy as she watched as Quinn lowered her bottom to sit next to Rachel, Santana decided to make her way over to Rachel and took up a seat on the other side of the girl. "Are you enjoying the water, Berry?"

Leaning back to look at the naked sky, Rachel gave a pleased smile, "Immensely."

There was a bout of silence as the three girls enjoyed the confines of the outdoors onsen. However amazing it was, they were inflicted on how to go on with the conversation or how to approach the subject of Rachel's change. Santana looked at Rachel from the corner of her eye and plotted her next move. She didn't know if she should physically flirt with Rachel or just be blunt as she usually was. Her thoughts mirrored Quinn's sort of. However, it was the blond who broke the silence.

"Is everything okay, Rachel?"

The short brunette straighten up some, "Yes, why do you ask?"

"So far, you've been pretty quiet during the whole trip."

Rachel quirked a half-smile, "Well, I'm at a loss for words."

"That's a first," Santana quipped.

Both of her companions turned to her with raised eyebrows. She shrugged her shoulders. Making snarky remarks is a part of the Lopez charm. _If they didn't like it,_ she thought, _then they would just have to deal with it._

Realizing Santana was just going to leave things, Quinn rolled her eyes and turned her attention back on Rachel. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm trying to decide if this is some elaborate scheme or if you're being truly genuine in all of this. Why are you being kind?"

Santana didn't know how to answer it. She liked Rachel, but that's not why. The fact is Rachel is being a mystery and she wanted to solve whatever problem Rachel was going through. Her end game was not to get Rachel, but to quiet the insanity that Rachel was provoking in her. On the other hand, Santana knew Quinn was the complete opposite of her and yet, she didn't know how felt about that.

Santana remained quiet as Quinn took the floor. The blonde inhaled before speaking, "Because I care about you."

Rachel bit her bottom lip before speaking, "I want to believe you, but I'm really confused."

"I know it is hard to believe," Quinn said, "but I've always cared about you."

"In a mask of confusion, Rachel asked, "If you always cared about me then why all the slushies, name calling, and other abuse?"

At this Quinn placed her back against the hot spring wall and looked towards the heavens as if seeking the words, "I was angry with you."

"Why?"

"Because I love you and you didn't seem to know who I was and how much I changed just so I could be with you."

With this Rachel pushed off the side of the hot spring to look directly at Quinn as if to really study her or to understand where Quinn was coming from. "I'm sorry, but can you give me a hint?"

Sighing, Quinn looked at Rachel for a moment, "You have a cousin named Nick, right?"

"Yes, but what does he have to do with you?"

"He was my tutor in middle school."

At this Rachel went all contemplative. Santana sat up a little straighter. She had no idea what was going on. She couldn't figure out how being tutored by Rachel's cousin meant anything between either girl. She glanced between the two girls and thought back on how the conversation went or more importantly on what Quinn revealed. Quinn, in middle school, was someone she never met, but she then remembered about the Lucy incident. Oh… She understood half of what was going on, but she needed the full story.

It didn't take long for something to click in Rachel's mind. What's more her face went from confused to huge eyes of shock. Her head was away from looking at Quinn, but once she put things together, her eyes locked on Quinn, "Luce?"

A tear leaked from Quinn's eye as she nodded her head with a triumphant look on her face. It became too much for Santana, who felt lost. She didn't like it one bit. Standing up in the water without any regards to the fact that her breasts were in full viewof the others, she waved her arms as if directed their attention on her. "Hold up."

Her voice got what she wanted. Pleased, Santana went on, "Can one of you two care to explain to me what is going on here?"

Quinn turned her gaze to Rachel indicating to her that she should speak.

Rachel sighed and gave a shy smile, "Fine, but I would recommend you sit back under the water."

Santana was confused for a moment before noticing that Rachel was pointing at her. She looked down then back up as she witnessed a slight blush on Rachel's cheeks. Smirking, she appeased Rachel by going under, "Did you like what you saw?"

Rachel didn't make a comment but merely rolled her eyes. Once that it was okay, she went on with her tale. "My cousin Nick is a perpetual student; however, he has come to a decision on his degree."

"Oh, what's that?" asked Quinn with keen interest.

"English," Rachel declared.

Santana sensed that the conversation could go on longer, but she wanted to nip it in the bud, "You two can share cousin Nick stories later. I want to know what does he have to do with the two of you."

"Okay," Rachel agreed to getting back to the topic at hand. "First, I'm pretty close to my cousin Nick, even if he's only ten years older. Second, since he was a perpetual student he decided to be a tutor."

"Let me guess, he tutored Quinn in English?" Santana surmised.

Quinn chuckled at that, "Math, actually."

"Math? I thought most English majors majored in English because the suck at anything else?"

Rachel shook her head, "Nope. Remember, I told you Nick was into dinosaurs."

"Science geek and math genius turned literature freak, so what gives?"

"Nick is very well rounded. Math was his first love, then Science. He hated English, but he grew to love it. People change like that."

"What about you?" asked Santana. "Why did you change?"

Rachel took a pause before replying, "Do you want to know my connection with Quinn or why I changed so much?"

"Both," answered Santana after much thought. She did want to know more about Quinn and Rachel, "but I rather know more about why you changed. Not that I'm against it. I just want to know."

"Is that why you've been friendly towards me?"

Santana shrugged, "Pretty much."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Okay, this is the chapter that everyone has been waiting for. Just to warn you, you maybe disappointed, but if you stick around for the next chapter, I'll explain more. If there is any questions after reading feel free to review, I'll try to answer them in the next chapter.**

They were still in the hot spring as a calm silence engulfed them. Both Santana and Quinn were waiting patiently as Rachel gathered her thoughts. They didn't know if it was going to be a big mind blowing announcement or if it's going to be something mediocre. Whatever it was they waited on bated breath.

Eventually, Rachel took in a some air to speak, "I've changed because of _the _bet I made with Nick."

Before Rachel could go into any more detail, Santana had to shoot her mouth off with her own fast conclusion, "Let me guess, your cousin dared you to dress and act differently for an extended period of time." She yawned sarcastically, "That's boring. When are you going back to normal?"

As soon as she said those words, she knew she said the wrong thing. Rachel looked offended and hurt. She stood up slowly from the spring and walked out the changing area. Santana just sat there stunned. She was used to Rachel storming out in true diva fashion, but this was no storm out. It was merely a simple walk out. There was no dramatic flair to the way Rachel left. She walked away, a little hunched over, but she walked away. Suddenly an empty feeling came over Santana. She felt like she lost something important. She knew she did something wrong, but she wasn't sure what. All she really knew was that she lost something important.

No matter how lost she was in her own thoughts, she became irritated when Quinn pulled her out her maze like mind. "Santana," she barked.

With swift agitation, Santana turned to look at Quinn, "What?"

Quinn just shook her head in disappointment, "I can't believe you."

"What?" she asked again.

Quinn rolled her eyes, "Do I really need to explain what happened?"

Silence. The Latina didn't want to admit to having failed to grasp something so she just remained silent. Unfortunately, it caused Quinn's anger to grow.

"You're an idiot," the blonde said as she pinched the bridge of her nose. Santana watched as the girl looked up from her hand to the door Rachel left from and then back to Santana as if deciding which would be the better action. She just stayed to enlighten her friend and give Rachel time to gather her emotions.

Santana huffed, "Don't call me an idiot."

"But you are."

"Look, Q, I know I did something to tick her off, but she didn't have to leave. I just asked an honest question of when Rachel the Diva Berry will make her appearance again."

"That's just it, S; she's not going to go back to her Broadway loving self."

The Latina looked at her semi friend as she lost her mind. "You heard her, Q. Her cousin dared her act normal."

"Santana, we don't know what her cousin dared her to do, but whatever he did dare her to do, she won."

At this the brunette was totally confused, "How would to freaking know that?"

"San, remember at Wal-Mart when she picked up that one CD."

The other girl nodded her head.

"She said she wondered if Nick was accepted in Project Glee."

Now that she thought about it some, Santana did a mental face palm and growled, "Stupid." Of course the bet Rachel was talking about was that bet. She hated the fact she didn't really pick up on it. Now she thought about, she realized that she didn't pick on another thing. Rachel had called Quinn "Luce" she should have put two and two together. She half-heartedly smiled as she remembered Rachel she knew of a manga fan named Luce. _I should have seen that one coming._

"Yeah, you are," agreed Quinn with a shake of her head. "But that's not it. First you said that you were okay with her change, but then you jump to the conclusion that she'll go back. By the way she left, I say she isn't going back to the Rachel we all knew."

"I don't get it, don't you want her to go back. After all wasn't she the person you fell in love with?"

"I don't care, S. Rachel is Rachel. I still see the same caring soul that she has always been. She just has different taste in clothes and has different hobbies. I would care if she shaved her hair, I would still love her."

Santana looked Quinn and felt like crap. She liked Rachel too, but those feelings have only just appeared. Mentally she banged her head on a lamp post as one word filled her head. _Acceptance. _Rachel left because she felt like she wasn't accepted. Rachel as a Broadway bound nut wasn't really accepted. She was constantly being slushied because of her lack of conformity. Now that she changed to a somewhat normal human being, she still has trouble people accepting her. _She probably thinks she just can't win._

Santana stood up, "Come on, Q. We need find her before she does anything stupid."

Quinn nodded her head.

Together they left the hot spring and went to the changing area to put on their robes and slippers. They gathered up their other clothes and left to go back to their room hoping Rachel would be there. To their great relief, they found Rachel laying back on a futon. Her opened eyes studied the different patterns on the ceiling, but one could tell that her thoughts were a million miles away.

Both Santana and Quinn sat there clothes over by their luggage before going over and sitting down next to Rachel. Santana cleared her throat, "Look, Berry, I'm sorry."

Rachel remained quiet for a moment before speaking, "Thanks for the sentiment. It must have been hard on you."

Santana smirked at the girl's teasing, "You have no idea. Okay, so what's up with the bet?"

"Do you really want to know?" asked Rachel as she turned her head to look at the other two.

With a nod of her head, Quinn gave her opinion, while Santana shrugged, "I would force you, but I would like to know."

Sighing Rachel sat up and rested her back against the wall adjacent to her futon, "The bet I made with Nick was back around Halloween."

"So we have the when," Santana commented, "But what was it?"

Rachel giggled, "The bet was stupid really, but it changed me too much." She laughed a little, "Okay, last semester, Nick had a pretty interesting class."

"What was it?" asked Quinn.

"Because of the whole Maya apocalypse thing, the English department at Nick's collage offered a class on the post-apocalyptic genre."

"That would be so much fun," Quinn gushed at the thought of studying such a genre.

The singer laughed a little, "I wouldn't necessarily say it was fun. It was pretty scary."

"But what does this have to do with you?"

Sighing Rachel went on with her story, "Around Halloween, Nick came for a visit. He seemed rather down. I asked him what was up. He said that English was really messing with his head. Well, not all of English just a few of the books and so on. I understood a little. Last spring semester I read one of books Nick was assigned and it made more than determined to achieve my dream."

"What was the book?" asked Quinn. Santana shook her head at her comrade's love of books.

"_East Bay Grease_," Rachel answered. "It's about a boy named T-bird, who is a great trumpet player, but he is also a homophobe and rather races. He has such a great love for the trumpet that he could have been a great musician, but those around him told him that playing an instrument wasn't serious work. It was pointless. He gave into those remarks and became a laborer. All the while he was trying to find his own identity within his family."

Santana nodded her head, "I could see how reading that book would encourage you pursue your dream."

The other two looked at her with wide eyed.

She shrugged her shoulders, "Well, Rachel would have been motivated to prove that music wasn't silly and would prove the story is wrong."

The singer pointed to her nose with one hand and pointed to Santana with the other as if she was in a game of charades, "Exactly, I thought Nick let me read it for that purpose. Not to discourage me but to encourage me."

"It's kind of like your vegan thing," Quinn said.

The short brunette nodded her head, "Exactly."

"So what was different about your cousin's post-apocalyptic class?" asked Santana.

"He said that he was afraid for the future, but more importantly, he said that some books can really rape a person's mind. Especially, if they have standards. He said he couldn't believe the books he had to read. I told him the class couldn't be all that bad, but he said that it was. He then challenged me to read every book in his post-apocalyptic class. I took his challenged."

"Okay, but what was the bet exactly?"

"Not only was I to read every book in the class, I would also have to view some of the other class material. For instance one of the books for the class was _The Hunger Games_. Not only did I have to read the book, but I had to read the Greek myth that the book was based on."

"Wait, it was based on some myth?" asked Santana who had her world view blow away. She rather liked _The Hunger Games _the film. She believed that Katniss was rather… lack for a better word badass. She could totally understand the girl, because she saw a lot of herself in Katniss.

Rachel nodded her head, "Yes, it was based upon the myth of the Minotaur where there would be a sacrifice made of twelve youths. Of course none of them survived but it makes _The Hunger Games _rather unique."

"Okay, what other books did you have to read?"

"I read _The Time Machine _which falls under a sun apocalypse. _The Hunger Games _fell under war. There was _I am Legend_ which was because of a disease. _Left Behind_ was a supernatural apocalypse. However, there are three which really changed my life: _Uglies, Ender's Game, _and _the Road._"

"Why those three?" asked Quinn.

"They had the most impact on me."


	14. Chapter 14

Both Santana and Quinn looked at each other after Rachel's confession. It still struck them funny that three books could really impact a person's life like that. Actually, maybe not. Santana could probably check off the Bible for being a book that could change a person's life or some other holy script. She even thought on the movie _Sister Act II_. If asked she would have claimed to not have seen the movie, but it was one of her favorites. Secretly, she's a Whoopi Goldberg fan. Her Whoopi fandom began with her love of Will Smith as a small child. She would go out of her way to watch any and all films Will Smith that includes a lesser of his films, _Made in America_, which had Whoopi. It sort of grew from there. In any case, she remembered in _Sister Act II _how the fake-nun Goldberg presented a book to Rita Louise Watson to encourage her to follow her musical dream.

Secretly, Santana smiled mentally to herself at that thought. Not so long ago when she was watching the movie, she had wished that her life was like _Sister Act II_. It's strange how her life turned out, although she would not compare Sister Mary Clarence to Will Schuester. It simply does not compute. In a strange roundabout way, Rachel was sort of her Sister Mary Clarence. Or perhaps the sister was a combination of Shue, Rachel and Sue Sylvester. After all, if it weren't for Sue, she wouldn't have been in Glee Club and loving it.

Twitching away her thoughts for the here and now, Santana brought her attention back to Rachel. "Okay, how did those books impact your life?"

Rachel laughed a little at Santana's question as if something dawned on her, "You know, if my cousin was here, he would say a good essay is structured with five paragraphs."

Quinn raised an eyebrow, "Your point being."

Rachel giggled some more, "The first paragraph has a thesis statement that usually indicate there are three points the essay is trying to make. I have three books I have to explain in order to clarify my own thesis question. How come I've changed?"

It was times like these that Santana would have faced palmed herself. Instead she groaned, "You know, you couldn't have changed all that much if you come up with something lame as an English lesson outside of school. Seriously, I don't even want to think about the place on this weekend. So cut the crap and get onto whatever you have to say."

Rachel rolled her eyes, but thankfully went along with Santana's …suggestion? "Fine, but I don't know how to explain _Uglies_."

"Why?" Santana asked.

Quinn just furrowed her brows, "I heard about the book, but I never been interested in reading it."

"It's probably because it sort of hits close to home," Rachel guessed.

Santana sucked in a breath, thinking that Quinn was going to lose it, but to her surprise she saw a single tear run down the blonde's cheek as she nodded her head. It was this time that Santana furrowed her brows, "So what gives?"

Sucking in a breath Quinn braced herself for a confession, "It's the Lucy Caboosey thing."

Rachel nodded sadly, "That's why discussing the book is hard. I don't want to bring up anything unpleasant for Quinn, but I must ask why did you change so much?"

Quinn looked at Rachel straight in the eye, "Everything I did to change myself was because of you."

"I don't understand. Did I do something wrong to cause you to hate me?"

"Rachel, during the tutoring sessions with Nick, you were my highlight. I loved tutoring because I knew you were going to be there. You were my only friend and I felt like the luckiest girl in the world to have someone so pretty and who didn't judge me want to be my friend. I felt good being around you and I grew to love you. However, I never thought I was worthy enough to stand by you with the way I look. I decided to change everything about me in hopes that one day… you might love me. I've never hated you, but I'm disappointed that you didn't recognize me."

Rachel rolled her eyes again before crawling over to Quinn and grabbing her hands, "Quinn, you changed your name from Lucy to Quinn. You got a nose job, dyed your hair, lost weight, and started taking better care of yourself. How was I supposed to recognize you?"

Quinn sighed at this, "If you tell anyone this, I'll tickle you until you're knocked out, but I had this romantic notion of a Beauty and Beast moment, when you would look into my eyes and just know it was me, a beast who turned into a beauty because of true love. The moment you didn't recognized who I was my heart broke and my dreams of true love flew out the window. I took it out on you, I'm sorry."

"You know you could have just told me," Rachel said as she placed a hand on Quinn's face.

The blonde shook her head, "There was no point. If I picked on you, I wanted you to notice me and guess. I kept praying you would see me for who I was."

"Then why now?" Rachel asked, "What changed?"

"Around Christmas I was watching _It's a Wonderful Life_ and realized that I didn't want to be George Bailey, who was always waiting for his life to begin. I wanted to be like Mary Hatch, who was always proactive in getting what she wanted. So, I decided to change tactics and just seize the moment."

"Great," Santana said breaking the moment. She couldn't stand to hear any more. "Quinn is Mary, Rachel is George, and I guess that makes me Violet Bick."

Both Quinn and Rachel turned their attention to Santana with alarm. Quinn glared at Santana, "What does that mean?"

"What do you think it means?" Santana growled.

"That you have feelings for my George."

"Exactly," Santana proclaimed as if the light went on.

Rachel dropped Quinn's hands and stare at the both of them before pinching her nose, "Oh boy."

Both Cheerios shot Rachel a look that said "what?"

The small brunette stood up and paced a little. Santana noticed she limped a little, but after a while the limping stopped, _ah, leg sore. _"Okay, first, I'm not your George, Quinn and secondly…" She paused as she looked over to Santana, "When did you start having feelings for me?"

The Latina shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know, but I do. Okay? I rather not get into that right now because I know you have no interest in dating at the moment. Now if your leg has circulation again, I would like you sit back down and tell me about your change. If there is one thing I hate, it's being side tracked. We've been enough side tracked as it is and I'm almost through it all."

By the end of her rant Rachel was once again sitting down with compliance while Quinn wanted to protest but she didn't because of hearing Rachel voice, "I'm sorry, I just wanted to clear the air and make sure it was okay for me to go into why _Uglies _changed my life."

"Fine, whatever, but I'm losing my patience," Santana folded her arms. If she was sitting properly or and standing, she would have been tapping her foot away with agitation.

Rachel rubbed at her face, "The book is about a society set in the future that holds a certain standard in beauty. When someone reaches the age of sixteen, they undergo plastic surgery to look like copies of the pretty standard. Until they are sixteen, they are classified as ugly. The problem is up until the age of sixteen, everyone had the ability to choose for themselves and be free thinking. When they undergo the surgery, a mind controlling devise is placed in their head.

"Honestly, the book is rather scary because of what I see in the school."

Santana nodded her head at that, "I could understand that. I think I would go mad if someone tries to brainwash me."

"It's not only that," Rachel said, "The reason everyone fallows the same standard of being Pretty is because it is support that violence wouldn't happen if everyone was the same in thought and in physical appearance."

"So, the book should have helped in you trying to support of the whole importance to the individual?"

"It did, but another important message that came across the book was being taken serious. Those who were Pretty only liked to party and indulge in recreational activities. Those who oppose the whole system, believed in hard work and being satisfied with doing things with their own two hands. I think on Broadway and realized the only fruits I would see was a performance that was performed well. I found myself asking, would I be satisfied with that? I realized that Broadway plays are but fleeting moments that no one will remember in the future. There's nothing to really record it and not all Broadway plays make it on film. Yes, it will give people art, but what else. What value does it have to the future?"

"That's a lot to consider," Santana agreed.

"It's not that I'm against you from changing," Quinn began, "But the whole wanting to be serious thing is because you want to make a last impression on people? If that's the case you could always do film if you want something more stable."

Rachel smiled, "Broadway was my heart and Hollywood was like my lungs. If I could do well without the one, I can do well without the other. However, there was something else from the novel that made me change. It's the whole plastic surgery thing. It's not like they were graphic or anything, but they did talk about removing bones, adding things and so on. It made me a little queasy since I'm not a fan of blood. It also didn't help I had to watch a documentary on the whole white beauty myth thing."

"What now?" asked Santana. "What do you mean by white myth?"

"I'm talking about a belief in the fact everyone wants to look like Quinn."

Both brunettes looked over at the blonde who held up her hands in defense, "What? I didn't know there was a myth out."

Rachel shook her head, but looked thoughtful, "You know if _Uglies_ were made into a movie, you would you fit in among the Pretties. I mean you sort of look like how they describe them in the book."

A stricken look overcame Quinn's face, "Is that why you would give me a chance? Because I remind you of a book?"

The small brunette remained silence for moment as if trying to think of a good response, the only thing that came to mind was, "Or it could be that I'm just straight."

"Are you?" asked Santana since it looked as if Quinn was having a meltdown.

Instead of saying anything, Rachel asked, "Do you have a laptop?"

"Why? Is there some video of you making out with a girl?" Santana asked, who still wanted an answer to her question.

"No, the white myth documentary I watched is on youtube, I thought you might want to see why I'm having trouble with the body thing."

The Latina only glared for a moment before getting out her laptop and hocking up to the wi-fi connection of the spa/hotel. As Santana was setting things up Rachel had a comment to make, "Um, I'm good with being short."

* * *

**A/N: Actually, if you want you could totally see that documentary on youtube. It's not pretty. Just type in "white beauty myth documentary."**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Um, I just want to clarify, there is no supernatural element to this story. I said so in the summary. This story is basically a story of self discovery and acceptance. Sorry, if I ruin anything. Thanks for the reviews and those who have stuck with me during this story. So far this has received the most views out of all of my stories. **

* * *

After watching the pretty graphic documentary, Santana and Quinn sat in silence as Rachel was staring up at the ceiling listening to Santana's iphone. She had no intention of watching the documentary again. It was worse than seeing saw because it was actually about real people, who wanted to others to cut them open to make them more pretty.

Santana felt guilt and bile rise up in her. She thought back on her own plastic surgery. She looked down at her breasts. At the time, it seemed like a good idea, but now she sort of regretted it. She grew angry with herself for falling into the pit falls of society or the pit falls of the lemmings the run around in her high school. She had prided herself as being a total bitch and setting herself on some sort of ledge as being above others. However, with her plastic surgery, she made herself… She would admit it. She was a lemming and what's worse, she sort of disregarded the beauty of her Latina self, something that she prided herself in loving.

She closed her laptop and looked over at Rachel, "I can see why you would hate your body."

Rachel, who had seen the laptop close, sat up and removed her ear buds. "What was that?"

Santana sighed, "I understand how you could hate your body."

The smaller girl shook her head, "No, you got in wrong. I love my body. I like being short. I like being who I am. It's just… Do you know who Derrida is?"

Both cheerios looked at her as if she lost her mind.

Rachel sighed, "Derrida is a famous… I'm not sure what title to put on him and frankly, I don't think he would want a title. The best guess as a title would be theorist of post-construction and deconstruction." She paused to scratch her neck in a sheepish manner, "In high school, we don't study literary theory, but Nick does. I told him about the whole being uncomfortable in my body thing and he said it sort of reminded him of what Derrida explains as a rupture in his essay 'Structure, Signs, and Play.' A rupture is an event where one's thinking is altered.

"I looked at my body as being me, a person of great importance, someone who matters. Not that I don't believe that now, but I realized how fragile life is. Okay, this might seem strange, but I'm a firm believer in an afterlife or maybe ghosts." At the mention of the last word her face lit up. "That's it. Have you seen the movie _Ghost?"_

"Who hasn't?" asked Santana who looked over at Quinn pointedly.

The blonde held up her hands in defense, "I've seen it. My father actually had sat me and my sister down to watch it because he wanted us to learn what happens to those who are bad and those who are good. I was six and it sort of traumatized me for a while. It took watching _Dirty Dancing_ with my sister to help me enjoy watching movies with Patrick Swayze in them. God Bless his soul."

There was a collective moment of silence in regards to the death of such a fine artist. Even Santana was impressed with the way he danced. "Yes," she broke the quiet, "Let his death teach us that 'No one puts Baby in a corner.'"

"Agree," Rachel and Quinn said at the same time.

Another moment of stillness past them until Rachel decided to take up the reigns again, "In any case, if we look at his character in _Ghost_, we see a man who's spirit was ripped from his body, making his body and his ghost two different things. There's so many movies out there with that concept. Personally, I knew this to be true, but I never embraced it because a part of me felt my spirit and body are one. However, as I watched that documentary, read the book and did research on the Lupus thing, I experienced a rupture. All I saw was the body being treated like an object and not a person at all. It's like the soul of the person didn't matter anymore. Reading _The Road_ didn't help things either."

"I would imagine so," Santana said, "The majority of the people in the book were eating each other."

Quinn laughed a little, "I might not be thankful to my father for a lot of things, but I am grateful that he banded me from anything zombified."

Santana smirked, "You could have defied your father."

"I know, but I was never into the whole zombie thing. I tried with something simple, but… no… zombies are not for me. Vampires are maybe. Werewolves are an alright, but I think my favorite type of monster might be Mermaids. I don't think they are given enough credit."

She couldn't help herself, Santana smirked up a storm. He mind went the way of Disney in regards of mermaids and thought on Quinn being Ariel with an over protective father. Her laughter came to a halt as she thought on Rachel being Eric. Nope. Disney sucked. She was starting to think Hans Christian Anderson's version was the best, considering in a perfect world, she would end up with Rachel and not mermaid Quinn.

A stinging sensation stung her as she looked towards the source, "What was that for?"

"You made fun of love for Mermaids."

"I'm sorry, Cher, but mermaids are a stupid mythological creature. It's up there with Aquaman."

"I'm sure Wonder Woman is better?" Quinn asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Hell yeah, she has an invisible jet and her costume is sickening sexy."

"Um," voiced an attentive Rachel. Her voice caught the attention of both Cheerios, "If I may, I'm more of fan of The Flash."

Both girls looked at her as if she lost her mind. Yes, the Flash was superfast, which was cool, but they couldn't picture Rachel being a fan.

"Why?" Quinn asked.

"I think he would be the only one who out do me in a verbal spew, plus he can run on water. Oh, if I had his powers, I could be able to do so much more in my life."

Okay, Santana and Quinn could give the girl that. "Fine," the both grumbled in conceit.

They both saw a small smile form on Rachel's face.

Santana calmed down and asked, "Was there anything else about _The Road_?"

Rachel gulped, "Well, I read the whole book in twelve hours."

"That's not so bad," said Quinn.

"It is when those twelve hours were spent in dark of night."

"Okay, that is bad," Santana said as she recalled seeing the movie during a thunder storm. "Why didn't you read during the day?"

"It was part of the bet."

"Of course it was. For someone who is sensitive to such things as nightmares, you shouldn't have read the book in the dark."

"I know," Rachel admitted, "But Nick didn't tell me anything about there being a scene where baby was being roasted like a pig."

Oh… those were wrong words to say. Quinn started to break down in tears. Realizing her mistake, Rachel flew herself at Quinn and cradled her in her arms. Santana soon followed afterwards. Even though she hated being a rival to Quinn, she still couldn't stand seeing the girl cry.

Both Santana and Rachel sat there just rocking Quinn in a tight cocoon of their bodies and tried to make her feel as safe as possible. Rachel kept saying how sorry she was that she even brought the thing up. However, her sorrys went on death's ears. Santana watched as Rachel gently wiped away at Quinn's tears. The short brunette brought Quinn's face up to hers and kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry."

The small kiss brought Quinn back around, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…"

Rachel shook her head, "No, I should have watched my mouth. I forgot to sensor myself."

A small smile tugged at Quinn's mouth, "Yes, but you wouldn't be you now, would you?" The blond kissed Rachel's cheek and pulled back to see Santana was hugging her as well. Santana noticed some mischief in Quinn's eyes, before she felt a kiss on her cheek as well.

"What was that for?"

"I was going for the shock factor."

Santana groaned and wiped at her cheek, "Gee, thanks."

"Um, I know we're just on a good place now. Rachel Started, "but I would just like to say, that a terrible crime like the one I said before just reiterates my point on the whole seeing the human body was merely an object. "

"I understand that," Quinn said, "but there is something I don't."

"What's that?"

"Could you explain why you sometimes have an aversion to human contact?"

"Ah, well, I was having trust issues. Reading about people who eat other people could make some paranoid. There's also the fact that I had forgotten to see a living human body as more than just an object without emotions. I was only seeing the part and not the whole, but I am getting better. I just need to focus on other things. Besides, I didn't want this rupture get in the way of being intimate with the people I care about."

_Oh thank goodness, _Santana thought in relief.

"So, are we done talking about man eating people?" asked Quinn who was squirming in her sit.

"Yes, but there is one more thing about the book that changed me," Rachel said. "There was a part where the father made a flute or something for his son. Pages later the father asked about the flute and the boy said he threw it away. I couldn't help but think about what would be important in the future. I also think on my cousin who said he did not want to go on to teach English or be an editor. There's only so much an English degree can get you. There's only so much a degree in preforming arts can get me. I can either become a performer or become a teacher. There is no other usefulness. I don't want to be useless. Since my first slushie, I have tried my best to prove myself useful and by Barbara, I am more than just Broadway and teaching."

They couldn't help themselves. Both girls brought their hands out and began to clap to Rachel's declaration.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: This is my longest chapter yet for this story. In a review someone once asked is this a crack fic, I want to say, if you enjoy this as crack okay, but I am being serious about the body thing. Honestly, I wanted to know if I was nuts or if anyone would actually understand where I was coming from. You know those commercials that leave you wondering 'what the heck?' I like to say "Don't think about it." Unfortunately, I think too deeply about the most unusual things. However serious I am, you don't have to take me serious if you don't want. As for this chapter, you might like it better because it has nothing to do with the body, but only a case study of sorts on Rachel and her family.**

* * *

The conversation would have went on to explain why _Ender's Game_ made such a big impact on Rachel, but Quinn said that she was feeling a little hungry. She had grabbed Santana by the arm and dragged her away from the room much to Latina's chagrin. She didn't want to stop and eat. She wanted to finish hearing Rachel's… She didn't know what term to use for what Rachel was going through. All she knew that the girl has some weird perspective change. _Well weirder than normal_ she thought. She tolerated Rachel at best before the change, but it was more along the lines of: Rachel doing something extremely weird cute, but maybe not weird cute and Santana trying to figure out if she wanted to like the weird cuteness or just slap the girl upside the head. It was really confusing for the Latina, but now she decided if she is going to like someone, she just had to roll with all the weird craziness that comes from the person.

As they were walking towards the longue area, Santana took a glance over at Quinn. The blonde, she knew, had her own set of crazy weirdness going on with her as well. For a moment, Santana wondered if she was the only normal person of the three. Except for getting work done on her chest and realizing her attraction to the fairer sex, Santana felt like she pretty much stayed the same. If she were to put a name to herself in would be "rock" where both Rachel and Quinn seem like two kites floating about in the wind without having something to tie them down. That's where she decided that she came in at, a grounder for them. The question was when did she decide to take on that roll, especially with Quinn along for the ride?

"So, what's up, _chica_?" Santana asked as they reached a rack that held brochures for the local cuisine.

Quinn said nothing as she pulled out her cellphone. She looked through her contacts until she found the number she was looking for. She stroked a few keys before putting the phone up to her ear. She tapped her foot in waiting which irritate Santana, who was about to say something, but stopped when the expression on Quinn's face changed. "Hey, Nick."

Brown eyes grew wide in wonder and disbelief. The Latina nearly blew a gasket that Quinn still have Nick's number and that she would be calling him at such a time. While Quinn was getting on with the pleasantries, Santana choose to demand Quinn put the call on speaker to she could be part of the conversation. It took so mighty hand gestures and threatening before Quinn scowled and conceded victory to Santana.

"_Is everything fine?_" Nick said in a voice that sounded rather deep and mumbly.

"Yeah, everything is fine," Quinn said. "Why?"

"_Nothing really, but it sounds if there some commotion over the phone."_

"Yes, I put it on speaker phone."

"_Are you cooking or something_?"

"Nope, it's just my… I don't know the term I use."

"Maybe fellow bitch," Santana suggested.

"_Uh, hello. Who is there?"_

Although she couldn't see his face, Santana could just imagine the look of dumbfoundedness to appear. She smirked wishing the guy was there to see it. "Yo, compadre, I'm Santana Lopez…"

"_Hello, Santana," _greeted Nick as he cut her off. "_I heard great and terrible things from you."_

"Whatever, Ollivander," Santana grinded. "I'm pretty sure that you purposely messed up Rachel's head with that weird bet of yours."

"_Ah, she told you about the bet._"

"Yes, she did. So you need to tell me what's your problem is."

"Santana!" Quinn admonished.

"_That's find, Luce. Apparently, I did something wrong. May I ask what I did?"_

"That stupid bet you made with Rachel totally messed up her mind. As a favorite cousin of hers, you should have known how sensitive she is to books that leave behind powerful feelings."

"_You must be thinking about how she became vegan. Yes, I knew how some books could affect her. However, the books she read sort of escaladed the feelings she's been having lately. There's my sister with Lupus and Rachel's need to know everything about it. There's also her doubts about Broadway and her future which is kind of mixed up with issues she is having with her dads and Shelby."_

"Wait, she's having issues with her fathers?" asked Quinn.

"What kind of issues?"

"_It's not my place to say, but if you ask her nicely, she would probably tell you. I will say this though, you know those pictures with where if you look at it one way it's a duck or old woman, but if you look at it another way it's a rabbit or a young woman?"_

"Yes, but what does that have to do with Rachel?" Quinn said.

"_She was looking at life seeing only the duck or the old woman, but now after many years of seeing one thing her perspective changed to where she sees there is another picture besides the duck and old woman. She can now see the rabbit and young woman and once you see the other shapes, there is no other way not to see them. Like you look at the logo for FedEx, you see an arrow made from the e and x or you see a man's profile in the Coke Cola logo with the a in the air. There's also a picture of the male phallus on the original cover of Disney's _Little Mermaid._ Once you see those things, you can never not see them."_

Both Cheerios were left speechless. Santana looked over at Quinn and saw an appalled expression on her face as her lower lip quivered as if her untainted world of Mermaids came crashing down because some pervert decided to defile an innocent movie that teaches bad morals. Seriously, Ariel ran away from home and put everyone she cares for in danger just so she could a sketchy chance as true love. In the end, she doesn't get punished but ends up with a happy ending.

Her mind would have lead her down the path of the morals in the other version of the tale, but Nick awaited some sort of answer. "Okay, I'll keep that in mind."

"Good_, um I have to get going, but it's been nice talking with you two. Tell Rachel I say hi."_

"I will," Quinn sternly said as she had gather her emotions together in a second a squashed them like a bug. She hung up. "You know what we have to do when we go back to the room, do you?"

"Yeah, find out her family troubles."

""Not only that, but I need to see if there really is a male member on the cover of _The Little Mermaid_."

Santana shrugged, "It could be there or not. I mean my older brother once told me that if you watch _The Lion King _closely, you might be able to see the word sex in the clouds or a body hanging in _The Wizard of Oz._"

"That's so sad. What are Disney and MGM trying to do with the future minds of the world?"

Again Santana shrugged and look over at the rack and smiled as her eyes found a brochure for Breadstix. She picked it up and pulled out her phone to put in order for delivery without asking Rachel or Quinn what they wanted. Santana gave up on asking Quinn as her mind on other things and Rachel was vegan. There weren't too many options there. After making sure that she had at least ten orders of breadsticks, – she thought in still not enough – Santana grabbed on to Quinn's arm and pulled back to their rooms.

When they arrived, they saw that Rachel was lying on her stomach looking over a brochure of what the spa had to offer. "Do you see anything good?" Santana asked.

Rachel rolled over on her side to speak to the other girls' face. "Did you know they have ping pong here? Maybe after dinner we could, I don't know, play?"

"Of course, but only after you tell us about the last book," Santana agreed.

Rachel nodded, "Fine, but I don't know how to begin without causing distress to come over Quinn again."

"If you're talking about Shelby, then it will be all right," Quinn said as she sat down close to the computer.

Rachel looked flabbergasted, "Wait, how did you…?"

"We sort of talked with your cousin," Santana said as she lay down next to Rachel. "He said you were having family troubles, but that's all."

"When did you talk to him?"

"Just now," Quinn said as she was fighting between going to computer or listening to Rachel. She gave the computer the evil eye before joining the other two on Rachel's futon. "You now this is quite comfortable."

Rachel nodded her head, "Say it is."

"Whatever," grumbled Santana, "I have Breadstix coming so let's cut to the chase."

"Alright," Rachel said as she tossed the brochure aside and ended up on her back. "Before the bet even took place, Shelby came back into my life at the start of school. After three months with Beth, she realized… no, she grew more compassionate towards me and saw how messed up she made a what could have be a good relationship. I told Shelby when she came back, that I was sorry for expecting too much from her."

"But she is the one that sought you out and then turned you away in a blink of an eye," Quinn said. "You didn't have to apologize."

Santana agreed but she didn't voice herself.

"Quinn, I did. The whole episode was confusing. Think about it. She sought me out by trying to trick me into seeking her out. When she did get her wish to finally talking to me, I think she it caught her off guard and freaked her out that it was happening suddenly. My guess is that she pictured the whole thing going differently. It was impulsive of me of just going up to her and declaring I was her child. I should have thought of a better approach and eased into things better with her. After all, I can be hard to handle. Honestly, when she turned me away, I thought she was disappointed in me or just didn't like me. I thought if we would have got to know each other before hand it might have been different I don't know.

"Then there's the whole Lay Gaga number and me having nothing to wear. I went straight to Shelby because my fathers are useless in that department and I always wanted a mother to do those kinds of things with me. Now I have nothing against my dads, but sometimes I had found myself lacking a good female presence. Honestly, I think it should have been an open ended adoption. Shelby wanted it but my fathers didn't. I'll explain why later.

"As for the small mother-daughter moment I had before she decided that she made a mistake, I realized that we were forcing things too fast. I wanted a mother for so long that I forced Shelby into the roll without thinking. I was thinking about me and my needs. I should have realized that the type of relationship I had hoped with Shelby took time. After she decided to it was a mistake, I had spent much time on it and trying to figure out what happened. I came to the conclusions above and realized Shelby did want to be in my life, but since I was…I guess too old, it felt weird to her. It would be like a childless woman marrying someone who has a grown up child two. It would be hard to find and develop a motherly bond. It's because off this it would have been better if our expectations would have been different."

"Did you decide this?" asked Santana.

"It was something we agree on. When she came back into my life, I told her that I was sorry and that if she was really looking for a relationship with me that if she couldn't be mother to me then perhaps she could think about me as a long lost sister. She liked that idea and our relationship has never been better much to my dads' displeasure."

"Yes, but what does this have to do with _Ender's Game?" _Quinn asked.

"I saw myself as Ender." She paused as to consider her next words. "Nick said that when he studied the book they talked about fatalism, meaning that no matter what we do we keep following after some plan that was set for us. The plan that was set for Ender was for him to eradicate a whole alien race. In a future society where it is only legal to have two children, unless your religion states otherwise, Ender was a third. At the age of five or so, he was taught that he only causing his family harm if he stayed with them instead of going to a military academy. In everything he did, he found himself being isolated, both by his own hands and by those of some general, who wanted Ender to be set apart from everything. I understand that.

"Having two dads is not bad, but it has caused be some problems with trying to find friends or having a romantic relationship with someone. It's set me apart. Honestly, I thought 'who cares and so what,' because I knew there were other families like mine out there. It gave me comfort; however, I found out that like Ender, there was plan for me long before I came to be."

"What do you mean?" asked Santana and Quinn at once.

"It goes back to Shelby. She wasn't the only woman who came to my fathers and asked to be my surrogate, but she is the only one who past the test."

"What test was that?"

"My mother had the dream of making it big on Broadway. She wanted to act and sing. My fathers found this exciting and asked her sing and boy did she sing. Her voice landed her the biggest role of her life as my birth mother because my fathers deemed her perfect. You see, I came to find out that my fathers had a theory that it takes both nature and nurture for a child. They had hoped to get a very talented daughter through both Shelby and the random selection that is their DNA. I'm still not sure who I'm actually born through with blood, but that's beside the point."

Santana sat up and looked down at Rachel, "Why was it so important that you were talented? Surely they couldn't have cared if you weren't."

Rachel sat up as well, "You might not understand this, but I'm pretty sure Quinn does." Both Brunettes turned towards the blonde who sat up as well.

She nodded her head, "My father was the same. He had high expectation for me, but that didn't work out now did it? Though all parents have some sort of expectations for their kids. It is only natural."

"Yes, but those expectations usually involve wanting their children to succeed in life by being better than they were. They also want to see their children have tons of friends, do well in school, go on to college, get a good job, find a suitable spouse and have kids and grandkids."

"What makes your fathers special?" Santana asked sensing that this is where they were going.

"You know the Natalie Portman movie, _Anywhere but Here. _In the movie, the tries to push her daughter into becoming an actress, something her daughter didn't want."

"Are you saying that your fathers want to live vicariously through you?" asked Quinn.

Santana looked up to Quinn in shock. She had no idea that Quinn knew the movie.

Quinn shrugged, "I became a Natalie Portman fan from her role as Padmé. I've followed her ever since."

Santana couldn't argue. She had the same tendencies. Whoopie Goldberg. "You would." She shook her head and turned again to Rachel. "How do you figure this out?"

"From reading _Ender's Game _and finding out how my mother was chosen, I became suspicious. So I talked to Nick about it and other family members. I came to find out that my dad, Leroy was had dreams of becoming Broadway star, but due to pressures from both of his family and society, he went on to become a lawyer. As for my daddy, Hiram, he wanted to become a concert pianist, but his parents couldn't afford to keep up with his piano lessons so he couldn't live his dream. Instead, he fought to rise above what his parents had and became a doctor.

"It was their love of music and their lost dreams that brought my parents together. They eventually decided to have a child of their own so he or she could fulfill their dreams. Didn't you know there was a way if you wanted a girl, you can have a girl and vice versa. Well, when they heard Shelby sing, they knew they wanted a girl to have a better chance of having a talented child. During the course of the pregnancy, Shelby began to feel a connection to be and asked for visiting rights, but my fathers refused. They didn't want too many outside influences on me and my choices.

"They isolated me from my birth mother before I was ever born. Up until I started going to school, I didn't even know I had any other family outside of my fathers. It wasn't until a class project family did I find out they couldn't keep me away. They helped build my vocabulary to set me apart from kids my own age. They had me dress in… well you know… as a way for me to be reminded that I am their little girl. It's psychological thing and helped me in isolating me more. You know when I was eight I asked them if I could have brother or sister. They refused with some clever retort.

"As far as my talent, they honed it since I was little. You know how I love to praise my first trophy, I find I simply want to burn it. Because they found ways to isolate me from people, I only had their praise to rely on. They didn't discourage me, but still their praise was what I wanted until it came to the point where they had me auditions for things and so on. I grew to want praise of others. I'm not sure if I'm expressing myself clearly. I should say that there came a point where I realized that I wanted more than my fathers' praises because I knew they wouldn't be around all of my life. And now… well all I want is to follow my own path and have a choice in my life. _Ender's Game_ helped me to realized how planned out my life is.

"You know Finn?"

Both Cheerios nodded their heads. They didn't want to think or talk about him. "What about him?" offered Santana.

"My fathers like him because of how simple he is. I like him because of the leading man quality, but with the whole fatalism thing that is my life, I realized that I didn't love Finn as I should. I like how he is my friend and I like us being together but not in a romantic way. He made me feel wanted and he made feel as if I wasn't alone. However, I don't want a steady relationship at the moment because I need to find myself outside of Broadway. So, I'm sorry if the two of want anything more from me. If you want to go on a date, okay fine, but I don't want anything more. I want to define myself as myself before I define myself with someone else."

Before anyone could say anything the telephone rang.


End file.
